Over the past few weeks a couple things have impacted upon me. I had read my mothers Blog and there is a post there in memory of a woman who was at a time a very close friend of my mothers. I remember this woman from my very young years only barely, but I do remember my mother speaking of her at times and it was always very good. I feel that they were very close friends.
My significant other and I were talking last night and one of the topics that came up was how it seems hard to stay in touch with our friends from where we used to live. She and I have both noticed that it is hard for us as a group to stay in touch.
It is weird that there was a time that we would sit with these people for ours and talk about nothing now seems to be struggling because we are thinking there is nothing to talk about.
Personally I can remember a multitude of names and faces that at one time or another I was young and naïve enough to believe I would be with as friends forever. I would guess that the older you get on average the bigger your list would be. It’s been only in the last 5 or 6 years that I have realized my patterns and only “recently” have I tried to be more active in staying in touch. Until recently I had just accepted that this was a fact of life that I could do nothing about.
I have to wonder, with all the technology out that is meant to help us stay close to friends and family, why is it that we find it harder and harder to stay close? Of course, I have a theory.
Fear
I am afraid that maybe we were only friends because fate had forced us together in location and that thought makes me sad. I am old enough now to know that throughout our lives we have a series of ups and down that we want to share, and many times we want to share it with the people who were there when the dream began, and not just the people who are around when the dream is realized. Because we did not stay in contact with the mundane day to day stuff we feel guilt or shame when we want to call for the “real news”. Let’s say for example something good happens in our life that we would like to share.
“Will they ask me why I have not called?”
“Will it sound like I am bragging?”
An even worse scenario is a time in our lives when something bad happens and we have a need for help and friendship.
“Will they ask me why I have not called?”
“Will it sound like I am begging?”
“Why do I only call when there is bad news?”
FEAR
What is it within me, and I suspect within all of us that uses our fears to make our fears come true? I know that by reading my mothers Blog that she feels bad that she was not able to stay in touch. I know that by speaking with my significant other that she feels worried that she and her friends are growing apart. So, I know that I am not alone.
I am scared that if I feel this way, that it is likely that my friends feel this way. If we feel this way than it is likely that you and your friends feel this way. If we all feel this way then it is likely everyone feels this way. How do we stop it? How do we fix it?
I do not know.
