Probably asking more questions than supplying answers. This is for me to try to understand some things, but your welcome to read along as well.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Contentment
Now, what I write will possibly scare people because I feel that they will think they understand when in fact they don't. To be perfectly clear let me say this first: I don’t want to die. I am not planning on dieing. I am planning on living. What I am seeking is more like a complete “nothingness”. I am missing the necessary indifference which is the primary component of “nothingness”. I am glad to be alive and I am glad to have lived. I wish to continue to live a long and healthy life. There is a part of me that wishes to “exist” in a bubble that is outside and away from the rest of the world, and there is unfortunately an equally strong portion of me that says we need to be involved if there is going to be any change. I wish I could write an accurate description of how this conflict affects me in my average day.
I am torn between what is best for “me”, and what is best for my “self”. (CAUTION: More confusion coming) In this context “me” is defined as my “soul”, my inner joy, my peaceful content with existence as we understand it. My “self” is defined as the body whose responsibilities create impacts in the life of others. “Me” affects me, and “self” concerns others.
I suppose it could be argued that the balance of the two is the holy grail of our lives. I don't know. I do know that I have not yet figured out if balance is possible for me. I tend to think that I will never get “self” working well until I COMPLETELY have “me” working well, and “me” is putting up a fight.
“Me” actually is feeling better now than I have in a long time. Having said that though let me say that “me” is still messed up. I have settled some things in my mind that helps “me” get out of bed in the morning. The resolution of these things basically comes with the concept that there are things that affect my “self” that I can not change and likely will never be able to change. I know that this seems like such a simple statement. It is a statement that we say out loud in our lives, but how many of us say it truly to ourselves, in our heads. The desires of “self” are like a cigarette addiction. No matter how long I have been an “ex”-smoker I feel I will always instinctively reach for my lighter after dinner, and in life no matter how many times I strive for happiness of “me”, I instinctively dream of happiness for my “self”. Which is to say that instinctively I try to improve the parts of my life that impact others rather than try to make my decisions based on what will bring me my own inner joy. I want to make my family and loved ones happy. I want them to not worry about me. I know that if I achieve and succeed they will be happier, and instinctively I try to give them that happiness. I don't think that this is necessarily the way to insure contentment for “me”.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Push then Twist
Ex-wife two for some reason is now telling people some “exaggerated” stories of our marriage. I don't know exactly why she would be starting now. We had a “truce” kind of working for a long time but for some reason either she has started again or has never stopped and I am just now seeing the events.
I have a list of things I need to do, but I am having so much time cutting through the crap to be able to get to them. It seems that every part of my life is a contradiction fighting against itself or is a domino waiting for the domino before it to drop. In my mind I believe that I should give up control and equally I believe I should try to gain control. Of the list of things I need to do I always have something that needs to get done first. My dominoes are in a circle.
I have been really pushing myself in my stretching. The main way I can know that I got something done well is by how weird I feel for the rest of the day. Not only am I in pain but my body goes through this emotional rollercoaster because of the drastic change in my circulation and therefore body chemistry. That feeling I have scares me because I don't know if that’s how I “really” feel or is it an exaggerations caused my the chemical release. I hope that’s not how I feel. I understand the need to give up control of some things in my life but I have to admit that I fight the idea of feeling like that every day. I know that I am sad at times, but am I that sad?
The world does not seem to be changing. Or at least my view of it is not changing. I wish it were. I see so many things I should write about. I see so many points that I want to make. I watch a press conference and I know which news station will report which part of the speech based on the politics of the station. It’s weird really.
With all the new stuff happening everyday how is it that they can always say exactly what they said yesterday.
I am bothered by the knowledge that even in the case of this blog others will form an opinion based on the evidence presented here and they will not take the time to find ALL the evidence to form there own opinion.
Our lives are founded on inequitable contradictions. We tell ourselves that we should control the betterment of our own lives and only our own lives. If everyone does that then the world as a whole will see change. We also tell ourselves that it is the duty of everyone to guide the actions of others and take care of them if they are unwilling or unable to take care of themselves. Also there is a group who believe that the world should guide their actions because they are incapable of guiding themselves.
I am kind of jumbled today. I went to bed early last night and ended up waking up in the middle of the night and was not able to go back to sleep.
As I was going to sleep last night I was talking with my significant other. I enjoy the fact that we can just talk. While talking last night she told me that she did not know how to take off child proof lids from my aspirin. She knows how to now but when she first came here from her country she did know how. I was amazed. Here in America we learn how to do it when were …children. They don't even have those lids in her country. I remember going to sleep last night amazed at how the most technologically advanced county in the world took the time first to actually teach their kids how not to take the pills, rather than invent a lid that makes them want to take them even more.
I think that small things like this are a reflection of our societies and in many ways can be used as an example of myself in my younger years. Eventually our children will figure out how to get through the safeguards that we have created to protect them. How do we convince them not to take the pills just because now they can?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Morality of Algebra
I have been kind of taking a break over the past few days. Almost a week. I have been working on some online courses as well as taking some time to play a game and spend some time with some friends online.
Unfortunately I still watch the news, if you can call it that. Our VP shot someone, in case you have been in a cave and did not know that. He “peppered” some guy in the neck and face. I wont get into the details of it here I think if you are interested in it you can find the story anywhere. The weird part of this is the press coverage of the event. Dick did not let them know fast enough and now they are a bit pissed. I am interested in a lot of different things on the news and thank god the internet allows me to go look for a the story when my local and national news refuses to tell me, but for hours will debate whether or not he should call them when something like this happens.
I think basically this:
I our VP were to use his position of authority to justify ignoring the moral correctness of insuring that family members knew ALL the facts of the situation, we and the press would rape him in the news. HOWEVER it seems that our press is allowed to use his position of authority to justify ignoring the moral correctness of insuring that family members knew ALL the facts of the situation, and if were not allowed to we will rape him in the news.
I have a friend who hates Algebra and I am trying to convince him that Algebra is more about problem solving than it is about “math”. Numbers are the tools used to explain the problem solving. Because they are “facts” they allow for the easiest explanation. One of the principals of algebra is getting “balance” in your equation. If you can make sure that both sides of the equals signs are the same you then you have proven that you variables are correct.
Example.
x2 = x(5 * 1)
We know here that x = 0 simple. You put in anything else and they don't equal.
If X= (position of Vice Presidency as basis to justify ignoring the moral correctness of insuring that family members knew ALL the facts of the situation before publicity is gained.)
WRONG = WRONG
(Press uses) + X = Y
We know that the press believes (or says) that politicians have no moral advantage over the rest of us so
(VP uses) + X = WRONG
We know that morally we are all to be judged on the same standard so….
(VP uses) + X = (Press uses) + X
(Press uses) + X = WRONG
Again our media has the power to re-write moral values on the fly to fit their needs. We have not seen the end of this. If you have any more questions on the “weapons of mass persuasion” feel free to do some Google searches new Anti American movies that are being released in Europe.
Again I have to say these things are beyond our control so anger is not an option. Still I can not stop the fear.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Timeout
I think I want to be a teacher. I think that by being a teacher I am in a place where I can do the most learning. Teachers in my opinion have the best jobs for seeing the things that I want to see. They have a front row seat to the evolution of thought. I wonder though if I can do it without influencing the thoughts myself. I wonder if I am supposed to. I flip flop a lot on the role of a teacher in a school setting.
I imagine that a core problem of the world is that we ask questions faster then we can answer them. Then we get frustrated when we realize that our time is running out and there are more answers we still have not found. In all actuality all we did was ask more questions, and work up some very in depth theories to the other questions. There is a lot of emotional investment in our opinions and theories. We come to believe them as truth because we know we can not get all the facts.
I have met teachers in the past that have pushed more of a moral lesson than the one in their assigned text. I liked those teachers at the time because it meant less studying. I even learned to look for them later in my scholastic career. However I also knew that the SAT’s were going to be from the book information. Some people can not make that difference and get out of school with head full of opinions and a job at the post office. We all know what a bad combination that can be.
I think I want to be a teacher somewhere else. By somewhere else I mean not in America. I think English is something that I would like to teach. (Note to self: go back to school moron) I think trying to teach understanding in America is impossible when no one understands American people beyond what they see on a screen. Most of our own people don't understand Americans other than what they see on a screen.
I have discovered in myself a pity for America that I did not know was there. I knew about the love. I knew about the anger. I knew about the concern. Pity is something altogether different.
I guess the good news could be said to be that we have not really gotten any worse but only that more information has been made available. The bad news could then be said that we have always been this bad.
I think that by teaching somewhere else I have a better chance of changing the world than I do if I were to teach here. I think that if more were to go to other countries with the idea of embracing their culture instead of having the goal to make them more like us we would have a bit more tolerance from them. Maybe then we can help them to understand how important it is to understand a nation’s people. That is a lesson I would like to teach to America but I am afraid that the competitive view is much better funded than me in this debate.
I wish America could sit alone in a quiet room for a little while and try to get its thoughts in order. Just stare at the wall and try to make a plan based on what it feels is the “right thing to do” without all the people yelling about what “the right thing for you to do.” I wish we had the time. It’s a shame that we can not bring the cultures of our own country together but we can not stop trying to mess with the cultures of others.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Puff Puff Give
I believe more and more that we are simply aching for a fight. There was a part of me that used to think that maybe we were just getting too crowded and nature was attempting to thin the herd. Yesterday I heard that someone had discovered a place in Indonesia that had never been discovered before. It is said to have 100’s of new species and breeds of flora and fauna. That kind of gave my “too crowded” theory a reality check.
It’s ironic how my personal (romantic) life seems to be doing so good just as I seem to notice how bad things really are. I guess I should go on the belief that as long as “my life” is good then “life” is good. I thought I had learned a long time ago to not to care for my so-called “fellow man”. I guess not. I catch myself raising my voice at times when I am concerned about a subject. I know there have been times in the past where I yell more out of concern than out of anger. I feel sorry but I sound mad. I am sure that this has led to some confusion in me dealing with some personal and family problems. Even now with my significant other I catch myself. In all the habits that I want to break I think this is one of the biggest. I wonder at times though if I am the only one who has this problem.
So often our family dynamic works on the “the loudest is right” principal. How is it that we can realize how wrong this is on a global scale but we can not see it when it is down at eye level. I guess it’s that “forest for the trees” saying.
You’ll notice that all of these riots take place where there are other Islamic / Muslim problems already present. I think this simple cartoon is bringing focus of these people to a “common problem” they can deal with rather than the problems in their life that they can not deal with. This is similar to the way some Dads might carry over anger from “wife problems” to the failure their child to do their homework. They yell loudly and act aggressively as a way to relieve the tension from other problems.
The leaders of these other areas of the rioter’s lives will gladly avert that tension to somewhere anywhere else. I have seen a few wives who would go to the child after dad did his yelling and say something along the lines of “see what you did?” knowing the whole time they are the real reason for the anger.
I believe that societies and cultures think and act much the ways as individuals. I think that we can learn much of how our cultures act together by viewing how individuals interact. Of course it’s bigger so it’s slower but the actions seem very similar to me. It’s almost as though we as individuals are the individual thoughts going through a larger being’s brain. Some work from the conscious (government) and some from the subconscious (people). It’s hard to tell which ones will carry the weight in the decision making process. I don't know which is more important over all but I will say that a lot of people believe that “enlightenment” is when both are brought together.
AFK
- A good friend of mine has lost his son to a drug overdose.
- My kitchen sink is stopped up and it’s annoying to do dishes in the bathtub while we wait on the maintenance man.
- I am at a current wall in the search for my oldest daughter, so I am rethinking that for the best angles.
- I am having delays with my government help concerning my health issues.
- I stretch daily which means I am in pain nightly.
It’s the waiting that is the biggest burden. I know and completely understand that I can not solve my problems in a day. I know and I understand that I can not solve the world’s problems at all. Still I look at these things and study and try to understand.
Watching or reading only gives me two options. I either learn about the problems, and face them or I avoid the problems and learn nothing. I have taken what actions I can to work on my problems and at this moment I am forced to watch for openings where I can act again. While I wait I feel that my time is best served to look at the world around me. My only other option is to hide within either fantasy or comedy. I have learned how to moderate my addictions to alcohol. I have learned to shut-down my smoking. I can not however seem to shake my addiction to information. I used to spend an easy 12 hours in front of this computer playing games, but now I spend almost my entire time searching down information. I used to spend my entire day watching “Comedy Central” or the “Sci-Fi Network”, but now I wake up early so that I can check the headlines to see what I missed over night.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Flowers in Chernobyl
The papers claim loudly that they have the right to express themselves however they want. The Muslims and Islamic people from all over the word feel that the image portrayed is insulting. I don't know is whose rights should carry more weight. Where does the right to free speech outweigh freedom of religion? Is this a religious matter?
I know that when I don't like something on TV I am told to turn the channel. It does not matter how insulting it is. I am my own censor. Here in America we have been trained to have an overall understanding that you vote with your pocket book. If you agree with something buy it. If you don't, then don't. <I know that it is not allowed in Muslim or Islam faiths to have any representation of the Prophet. This is to stop Idolatry.
i·dol·a·try
n. pl. i·dol·a·tries
- Worship of idols.
- Blind or excessive devotion to something.
I am guessing that we are talking about the number 1 definition here. I am not Christian but as I understand it some sects of the Christian belief have a law around this policy as well.
Number 3 In King James Ten Commandments
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.
Many Christians believe this line is to also include pictures or statues of Jesus (graven image) or anything, such as a cross (Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them) that symbolizes God.
Although I am not a Christian I still believe that everyone has a different view about God and what he looks like just seems like one more thing to argue about. In all the things that people argue about, God’s appearance seems pretty stupid to me. But that is my opinion and really does not have a lot to do with the rest of this post.
I am proud to say that here in America we have not had the problems that they have had in Europe. So far “we the people” have done a remarkable job of handling this one. Unlike their non-American brethren, the American Muslims have taken this conflict with their core beliefs in a remarkably calm fashion. There was a press conference where our news papers were NOT told what they could NOT print, but instead ASKED for respect.
So as in all things I havr to ask why? I don't “know” the answer here. I ask myself how in the whole world “we the people” are the ones that handled this with some civility. Not once have I seen this picture on American Television. When curious I had to go look on the Web and then could not find it in American “main stream” media sources.
Why?
I can not know of course from the view of an American Muslim, but as a “New Age Pragmatic” who was raised by Christians I can and will say this. DO NOT ‘TELL” the American Media what they can and can not say about your religion. It is a challenge that they are more than willing to accept if you give them a reason. American Media is the one superpower that you will never have the right to question, and if they are on your side just go with it and hope it stays that way.
Right now in a dark room somewhere on a shelf are books and books of stereotypes and phraseology just waiting to be loaded into the “Weapon of Mass Persuasion.” There is nothing sharper than a point of view.
Just feel free to ask the “tree-hugging granola eating hippie freaks” or maybe the “bible thumping fundamentalists”, about what American media will do to your beliefs in the name of free speech. I am sure you wont have to look to far to get an example or opinion from someone. Even the effects nuclear weaponry dissipates faster that the hatred and ignorance that can be caused by the “weapon of mass persuasion”.
I wonder what would happen if the Christians would hold that press conference, or if a Wiccan, or Pagan or any (insert religion here). I am truly happy for the American followers of Muhammed. I think they handled this well. In the matter of who’s right and who is wrong concerning the idolatry of God I don't really have an opinion. What small opinion I have on that matter is stated above in red. If you feel you need to have one then I recommend you think about it on your own.
I am merely pointing out that not only have governments bowed down to our media in all its glory, but here is an example where the Gods themselves request some respect and hope the media is in a giving mood.
Friday, February 03, 2006
HAIL to the KING!
One such person is a good friend of my mothers and although I have not had a chance to talk with him as much as I would like, I do read his Blog and I feel that we would get along well.
He still goes to school (I wish I could join him) and in an assignment is asked to judge the actions of Mrs. Cindy Sheehan by the standards set forth by The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.
More specifically as I understand it to the criteria listed in Dr Kings, “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” in which he lists among other things what he feels is the acceptable reasons for civil disobedience.
In my friends post the following list was given:
1 - collection of the facts to determine if injustices are alive
2 - negotation
3 - self-purification
4 - direction action
I love cut and paste!
I will start here by saying that I think this woman is going through the horror of loss. I feel for her in that loss. We all ask why when we lose someone and sometimes we can not find the answers. We all ask why when we lose someone and sometimes we don't like the answers.
Unfortunately no amount of empathy that I have for her or respect for her son can make her justified under the conditions set forth in this letter. Reading the letter leads one to understand that 4 - direction action can not be done until 1 through 3 have been made true.
Obviously this can not have been true. I know though that what seems obvious to me may not seem obvious to anyone else and even if it is that’s not enough to get a good grade on this paper.
1 - collection of the facts to determine if injustices are alive
So our first step here is to find the injustice. It’s hard here not to look at this from an emotional angle, but I need to for a bit so I can get out some facts before I get to the truths. The first fact that I have to get out is that her son willingly signed a contract with the government in which it was stated that he may be expected to go to combat. I think even if the words are not quoted the meaning is there. “SIGNING THIS MAY CAUSE YOUR DEATH” A wide variety of reasons could have been involved with him willingly signing that contract but legally he signed it. From a strictly and coldly legal point of view, I have to feel her civil actions protesting these laws and the war are unjustified.
Now the emotion: I don't think this poor woman can possibly understand what was in his mind when he signed those papers, when he was trained, when he was fighting, or when he was killed. I have to believe that there is a part of her that wants to remember the sweet young child that she gave birth too. Emotionally I have to ask where her protests were before her son died. I can understand using her pain of the loss of her son to bring focus to what she currently sees as the reason for his death, but I can not see that pain as justification by Dr King’s standard or my own. Granted a case might be made that our government somehow created an environment which make our military necessary or ‘the only option”, but if that is the case than she would be better off protesting for Education reform. Maybe her son could have gotten a better job. Emotionally I have to believe that she is currently proud of her son and that she always has been. This war did not kill her son. His decision to join did. That decision was for some reason only known to him. Therefore emotionally, I have to feel her civil actions protesting the war are unjustified.
I have to admit that it had been about 5 years since I have read this letter and to be 100% I only retained some of it, but of the main points listed I remembered some points made by the good Doctor that may apply here. I had to go look for them:
“Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. ~ Dr King~
As a veteran I do not believe that any law has degraded my personality. My personality is not defined solely by my actions. My personality is not defined by the orders of others. In all truthfulness in today’s society I feel that our personalities are uplifted above those that have not served. Many of us have bad memories, or fears and sadness but many find a higher faith in themselves and others that can not be achieved in any other way. To say that by following the laws set before us we have willingly degraded our personality is insulting to me and I believe to her son. Since I can not think that her intention is to insult her son, I have to feel her civil actions protesting the war are unjustified.
“An unjust law is a code that a numerical or power majority group compels a minority group to obey but does not make binding on itself. This is difference made legal. By the same token, a just law is a code that a majority compels a minority to follow and that it is willing to follow itself. This is sameness made legal.” ~ Dr King~
Like it or not the Majority of our country supported this action at the time. People can argue that some politicians have not sent their children but MANY people who do support this action have sent their children. I can not honestly tally up any kinds of totals, but try as I might I really can’t find anybody else with honest totals either. The “power majority” (government) did not compel “a minority to follow and that it is willing to follow itself.” It is fact that many of our government leaders are in fact military veterans that have served in combat situations. So based on this definition, I have to feel her civil actions protesting the war are unjustified.
“A law is unjust if it is inflicted on a minority that, as a result of being denied the right to vote, had no part in enacting or devising the law.” ~ Dr King~
Since this does not apply I have to feel her civil actions protesting the war are unjustified.
The closest thing I can get to justification for this poor woman is this:
“We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive.” ~ Dr King~
To be completely honest most of the protestors that support Mrs. Sheehan are not protesting the death of our soldiers or her son as much as they are protesting America impeding on the “sovereign rights” of another nation with little or no justifications. It is unfortunate that the death of soldiers is a side effect of some of our nations policies but that does not give these other protestors the immediate right to cash in on her misery and use her name to fuel their own agendas.
2 – negotiation
I have not heard of demands here. So I don't know about negotiations. I will say that Dr King had goals and his goals did not impede on the human rights of his oppressors. He wanted an equal chance to speak but did not feel that he had more of a right to be heard. He new he was correct in his actions and that his words were truth and fact, and that was enough. I don't believe Mrs. Sheehan’s goals are negotiable therefore I have to feel her civil actions protesting the war are unjustified.
3 - self-purification
This is a period of self reflection. It is a time of insuring that you are prepared to go distance for your beliefs. It is a time that you must understand what you are willing to endure for your beliefs. I think in her mind she may have gone through this process. But a desire to do a thing and a belief in your honorable desires, does not justify a thing. If it did then it would equally justify her sons service as well as the actions of those he called his enemy.
In closing here I have to say that even with all this I can respect the thoughts going through her mind. I have lost friends because of war and I still have friends there. I worry for them daily. I think about them constantly. I think of people who have been hit by a bullet that could have hit me. I think of mothers who got a visit or a letter like Mrs. Sheehan, when my mother did not. I honor them in my heart and I know that in their hearts and in the hearts of their families they did what they did for a reason that goes beyond gas prices or politics, and I see no reason to justify the loss of that memory.
America Leads to Democracy
According to my country I was not good enough to become educated, but I was still smart enough to learn how to kill for the educated people. Our military is facing a very different kind of war zone than the ones we think of when seeing the vision given to us by Hollywood.
People join the military for a variety of reasons. Some honestly do not believe that they do not have any other options, and I can attest that regardless of how I feel about a lot of my life I can still say that I believe that the experiences I gained there were very important for my growth. I can still say that those types of experiences can go along way towards teaching people about the realities that we don't want to look at. I can not however honestly say that those experiences are best for everyone. Some people regardless of income honestly should not be involved in that kind of environment.
The definition of the modern military changes so rapidly that our world can not keep up with it. More and more the need to die in our military becomes less and less. It is important to say here that the need to kill is not going down at the same rate. We as Americans are safer in the battlefields overall than any other soldier in the world, and our equipment gives our soldiers a decisive edge. When we can give our death toll in these low numbers the common person would believe that we are “winning”. I am not saying that we’re not winning. I am saying that I don't know what winning is. What is winning?
As I understand it to win one has to have a goal. The stated goal is world democracy, and the current slogan is “America wins when America leads”. Again I have to ask what I win. I, me, we, us.
The answer I am being told is “world peace”.
Currently in the world we live in we have “democratic” governments all over the world who were elected with the destruction of America or at the least one of our allies as a public announcement or goal. I honestly don't believe that the people of each of these countries want us destroyed but for whatever reason they have chosen their leaders and given them the power. That power makes our chosen leaders who we do not always agree with very nervous.
I think it is an awesome coincidence that in our war on terror we only hit two countries. Maybe we’re just lucky. Maybe our government does not have a plan.
I have watched TV my whole life and only in the last week have I seen government sponsored commercials for the United States Border Patrol. This could easily be described as people desiring our way of life. Of all the things he said that were NOT true in the State of the Union, we can agree that many of these immigrants are willing to do the work that we the people WON’T DO.
Is the legacy of democracy to be that it elevates us beyond the need to do labor? If that is the case what do we do when all governments are Democratic? Once we have gotten everybody on the same sheet of music in that area what will be the meter by which we measure ourselves as better. It is in our nature to judge and compare. Why is it also in our nature to dislike differences? Looking back I believe absolutely every society that expanded in the name of peace would be later judged by history as wrong.
We have called it many things. We have used many names. We have had many reasons. When we boil down the truths and get to the facts, History will be written by the winner only if he continues to win.
New authors are picking up their pens and for the first time in my existence I am reading from the non-fiction section. I am sure there is something that I am missing or that there is a part somewhere that makes my view unique or WRONG but I can not throw away my view. These are things as I see them. I believe the book will go on but that the chapters of our existence were merely paragraphs.
The world will go on. Children will be born fall in love and die. We just don't know whose children yet, and my desire is that it is ours. I don't feel that our children have any more right to live and love than anyone else’s, but if I have to vote, I vote for our children to live and for us to be sad for theirs.
I may not be educated enough to be a leader here but I am smart enough to know that voting is what a democracy is all about.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Reform and My Faithless Religion
When I write here I sometimes have a thought or opinion that I attempt to prove. Sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes I am correct but my way of getting to the answer is not the best way. It’s really a pain to delete my thoughts. Stubbornly I will attempt to rationalize them, but in the end I have to realize that if I knowingly do it wrong for no other reason than laziness then I am wrong. I am trying to be honest with myself, so going along that route is not very smart.
To say that re-forming the American Government would be “inconvenient” is an understatement. It’s unfair to compare the work and blood that has gone into its creation to my random key hits I call writings. However that does not make it any less needed. I want to get something straight. I love my country, but that love does not blind me to some problems.
It’s a sad fact that beautiful, intelligent, and loving children sometimes grow up to be self-righteous killers. Can the same be said about societies? Our options are limited when it comes to “curing” people, but how do you “cure” a society?
It is the curse of our Empire as it was in Empires’ past, to outreach our ability to maintain control. Yet we spread. In my heart I believe that “democracy” is the best and fairest way for us to govern ourselves, but is what we have a democracy? As usual I am going to say our definitions have outgrown our use of the words.
I am not saying that I know how to fix it. What I am saying is that like so many problems I have discovered within myself I can not simply say that because it would cause too much change in my life and heartbreak for others that I should overlook it. I know I kept abusively drinking for a long time because I was more concerned that others would judge me poorly if I admitted that I had a problem.
Because I know my friends will warn me and look at me weird I think now is a great time to say AGAIN that I love my country, and I love and respect the people in it. I do not advocate violence or hatred in any way. I call for nothing that involves the fears or actions of our forefathers but instead I call for a quiet patience and tolerance.
I hope with all of my heart that I will be able to teach patience to my children. I know that the changes in the last 10-15-20 years have been insane. I know that as the world changes our comprehension of it has to change, and I know that this change is confusing and frustrating. I know that the people in charge have to make insane decisions everyday and it can only be compounded by the chaos of world changes and world opinion. I know that we no longer feel fear from the tip of a spear, but now we balance lightly on the atom. How many societies throughout time have fallen to just a spear? How long can we expect to last?
I try to remember that no matter what I DO SEE, there is always something that I can not see. There is something that is beyond my understanding. I don't know, or understand how we have survived this long, but the “fact” is that we have survived. I like to think that the explanation for our existence goes beyond random luck, and I refuse to believe that mankind, when left to ourselves is capable of not burning down the house.
I read and watch as people advocate the need to “cut out the cancer” that they feel is making us as a people sick. There is always some cancer somewhere and there is always someone willing to do the cutting. I am more for a holistic approach. I honestly do believe that patience, tolerance and understanding are the only things needed to cure this problem. I admit freely however that I had to go to war to learn that. Quite frankly if we as a people, as a nation, as a species, can not learn to say “you might be right”, or at the very least “I might be wrong”, and mean it, then not only will we never be able to make our heaven on earth, but we will never deserve a heaven anywhere else.
Our government will not reform. No country’s government can. Only “we the people” have that power here. If we change ourselves then our children will change. We can not tell them lies in an effort to cover our mistakes, but should freely admit where we were wrong. They will respect us and trust us more if we do. I think our children would listen to us more if we had something worth listening too to tell them.
Virtually every definition of the word “miracle” concerns God or a higher power controlling our existence. My faithless religion will not allow me to use that word in that context so I have to say: All things considered it’s a “wonder” that we are still here.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Not as Political as you might think
There is a lot of talk about how we are apparently bringing democracy to the Middle East. So far all I have seen is some voting and to be honest not all votes have turned out the way we would have liked. In all actuality one country even voted to accepts terrorism as a government form.
Hammas politically does very well at a local level and I like the rest of the world am very interested in how that’s going to turn out on the national and world scale. Their opinion of Israel is not yet something that the world can get behind and considering how closely their opinions mirror certain statements of Iran we are forced to take them even more seriously in the region.
United States Religion | Christian 78% other 10%, none 10%, Jewish 1%, Muslim 1% (2002) |
For Democracy as we understand it to work or be created in a region it would be necessary for our fundamental belief system to be in place and to have been in place from the beginning. Democracy as “We the (Christian) People” understand it is not applicable to the area.
To be completely honest it took us hundreds of years to get where we are, and that was with the continuous pouring in of new blood and fresh opinions and faiths brought to us from around the world. It’s frustrating to live in a “democracy” and know that you are part of the minority, but to hear your leaders talk about “Faith based initiatives”, only adds to my personal misery.
It is my own fear that makes me worry I guess. In the grand scheme these things mean very little and I know I should not allow them to affect me, but still I do. Why am I offended when it is a choice that I make? Does not following the pack give me the rights in our democracy to complain about what directions the pack decides to go?
Spiritually I believe I should not worry about the things that I can not change. This is a concept that I try to pass on to others. Still my military training teaches me to try to understand why these things happen in an effort not to let them happen again. So I am in the loop of anger to isolation to understanding and back to anger. The only thing that I know for sure is ……….. well I don't know anything for sure.
I know that I am scared of a world where “we” are the leaders. I have heard the words “democratic crusade” and that thought scares the hell out of me. I see where our freedoms are abused. I see our definitions of right and wrong changing. I see our lawmakers fighting like children in public. I know it has always been that way and in some way it is refreshing to see it publicly, but mainly it is just sad to see something that I believe has so much potential crumble internally, while our leaders talk about expansion.
I know the world is not ending. America will not be destroyed. I am in no way trying to be a voice of doom. I have hope that my children will see peace, but I have no faith. It’s likely that some added piece will come to the puzzle to make a clearer picture. It is likely I am just having a bad day. Who knows?
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Iran Will Bring Us Together
There is some stuff in South America we need to keep an eye on, but I think many of us can agree that Iran may indeed be a problem capable of focusing us (the world) on an issue.
I will not say that Iran should not have the bomb. I will say that I wish NOBODY had the bomb and I am against anybody new being allowed access. As it is however Iran is next in line. The current powers that be and the powers in the region who want to continue to be may very well use this HUGE GLOBAL FEAR as a basis to at least temporarily start aiming in the same direction.
There is no good war. In a reasonable world there would be no need for war. We do not live in a reasonable world. I think however we are going to start seeing America as well as Sunni and insurgents powers and Israeli as well as basically everyone except Iran leaning together towards what they consider to be a reasonably agreed upon enemy.
Nothing makes peace as fast as a common fear. All things come from fear.
History is written by the Winner
This is not just true for the governments that won in whatever wars. It is not just true for political parties, but it also a fact when we talk about our emotions. The prevailing emotion will constantly sway your opinions concerning “emotionally historical” events.
(Truthiness: look it up. Thank you Stephen Colbert)
Contrary to popular opinion hindsight is NOT 20/20. I believe that it is much more true that your emotions create a sort if “revisionist history”. Not only does this become the history that we end up believing but it is the history that we give to others. I have had two divorces, and I say now as I have said many times in the past that I share the blame equally with my Ex’s concerning our reasons for relationships not surviving. In the same breath however I can not help but retain a sliver of “I am right”.
When dealing with an emotional history there are so many more ingredients involved that no one is aware of until WAY after the event if ever. Emotional events are the things that are happening in your life that you don't realize are even affecting you until years later and then in my case after thinking HARD on the subject.
What is it within us that wants so desperately to forget the bad things that we will go to the extremes of lying to ourselves in order to preserve our self image. I am SO MUCH HAPPIER NOW but should I feel guilt for the things I did to get to this point in my life.
Did I win to get to this point or did I survive? Did I get myself here though struggle and perseverance or was this where I was meant to be all along? These are the questions I believe that there is no “factual” answer to, but a variety of truths prevail.
History repeats itself.
It is a “fact” that everything emotional has happened before. It is a fact that there are only a limited amount of emotions. Based on that fact there can only be a limited number of combinations of emotions. That number may be something that we are not able to comprehend but it still a number.The odds are that in the amount of time that human beings have had emotions and the amount of people randomly going through different combinations of emotions your particular combination of emotions has most likely already been felt exactly the way you feel it by someone else. (That’s a mouthful)
We can say that new things happen to human beings everyday but I don't believe we can say that human beings are emotionally responding in new ways. There are an unlimited amount of possibilities when we try to define possible human “actions” but we are limited to a set number (as yet undefined) when we try to gauge emotional “reactions”.
If you list all emotions you know and look at that list I think that you will find that a lot of those words actually have an “understood meaning” that is a combination of the other words. Those words have “understood meanings” of other words, and so on. Following this process I think we can boil down to the one true emotion, what I am going to call “absolute fear”.
Absolute Fear: (as defined by Avatar_of_Normal) the one and only emotion from which all other emotive definitions are measured.
Happy: festive, contented, relaxed, calm, complacent, satisfied, serene, comfortable, peaceful, optimistic, joyous, ecstatic, enthusiastic, inspired, glad, pleased, grateful, cheerful, excited, optimistic, lighthearted, carefree, playful, elated, jubilant, thrilled Sad: depressed, low, dismal, dreary, dull, moody, sulky, defeated, pessimistic, hopeless, melancholy, somber, despairing, miserable Hurt: offended, upset, disappointed, heartbroken, crushed Angry: annoyed, irritated, cross, frustrated, grumpy, angry, provoked, offended, indignant, hostile, irate, furious, fuming, enraged Afraid: fearful, frightened, timid, cautious, concerned, apprehensive, alarmed, nervous, anxious, worried, hesitant, threatened, scared, petrified, terrified Loving: accepting, understanding, sharing, affectionate, close, warm, tender, passionate Interested: eager, enthusiastic, intrigued, absorbed, excited, inquisitive, intent, earnest, fascinated, engrossed Confident: calm, secure, independent, brave, loyal, courageous, strong, respected, empowered Doubtful: uncertain, hesitant, indecisive, wavering, insecure, skeptical, dubious, suspicious, distrustful Shame: uncomfortable, embarrassed, humiliated, dependent, weak puzzled, confused, torn, jealous, envious, distant, evasive, stubborn, impulsive, cruel, preoccupied, bored, powerless, helpless, humble, shocked, uninformed, disregarded…………..
There are so many more, but I have to believe that in everything we feel we can trace back or compare to fear. I would like very much to say or somehow scale this thought in a way that Love is the dominating emotion, but many of the thoughts that come to my mind when I think about love are based on or connected to fear.
(Note: if you can find another base emotion please let me know)
I said earlier in this post that I am SO MUCH HAPPIER NOW. I want to be clear here and say instead I FEAR SO LITTLE NOW. There is still concern in areas but I no longer have the mind altering terror that used to consume me. No longer am I Sad, depressed, low, dismal, dreary, dull, moody, sulky, defeated, pessimistic, hopeless, melancholy, somber, despairing, miserable.If we can create a color coded scale of emotion from light to dark with dark being absolute fear than I believe you would now find me in the much lighter areas.
One day maybe some children with a thirst for the facts will come across books about Native American Indians that was written before as a country we decided to rewrite history. They will of course question what they see in print. They will hopefully search out the facts. It is likely they will not like what they read and some might deny it because it may make them rethink and therefore rebuild their moral system and some core beliefs. It is easier to just forget what you know and fall into the old beliefs.
I can not pinpoint an exact time when I decided that it would be better for me if I rebuilt instead of patching up. Looking back with a clearer perspective I think I avoided it for along time instead of just accepting it. I was sold and continued to sell myself on an image I should strive for. It was the picture I thought would make those around me happy. I feel that in some way we all live in the hopes of our peers acceptance. How many of us have gone to bed at night knowing that something was wrong but not able to put our finger on it. I know for myself that many time I felt that way even when I was “successful”. When standing on the walls we make to protect us it is easy to overlook the foundations on which they were built. It is important to constantly check the foundations of our beliefs for holes
I don't expect anyone else to rebuild or even reexamine. Quite frankly if everyone took the time to do it the world would stop.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Beginning back at the beginning again.
This Blog in Review
Jan 31 2006
So I have taken a couple days to try to glance back at my thoughts over the last month. I have noticed that I have gotten a lot more political than I think I had wanted to. I think my emotional and mental stresses are concerns really about the world and there for myself. I don't know if that is a good thing or not.
I did redesign the layout of the site. Might as well use that large amount of my life I spent learning how to use those programs. I think it has a cold comic book feel to it.
Also I have added a dedication area here, and I think soon Ill be adding an area for something in the real world that needs more than one posts attention. As much as I would like to make money in anyway I just can not bring myself to put in advertising.
Finally, I have put in the disclaimer at the bottom.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
I am NOT crazy!
My significant other and I were talking last night and one of the topics that came up was how it seems hard to stay in touch with our friends from where we used to live. She and I have both noticed that it is hard for us as a group to stay in touch.
It is weird that there was a time that we would sit with these people for ours and talk about nothing now seems to be struggling because we are thinking there is nothing to talk about.
Personally I can remember a multitude of names and faces that at one time or another I was young and naïve enough to believe I would be with as friends forever. I would guess that the older you get on average the bigger your list would be. It’s been only in the last 5 or 6 years that I have realized my patterns and only “recently” have I tried to be more active in staying in touch. Until recently I had just accepted that this was a fact of life that I could do nothing about.
I have to wonder, with all the technology out that is meant to help us stay close to friends and family, why is it that we find it harder and harder to stay close? Of course, I have a theory.
Fear
I am afraid that maybe we were only friends because fate had forced us together in location and that thought makes me sad. I am old enough now to know that throughout our lives we have a series of ups and down that we want to share, and many times we want to share it with the people who were there when the dream began, and not just the people who are around when the dream is realized. Because we did not stay in contact with the mundane day to day stuff we feel guilt or shame when we want to call for the “real news”. Let’s say for example something good happens in our life that we would like to share.
“Will they ask me why I have not called?”
“Will it sound like I am bragging?”
An even worse scenario is a time in our lives when something bad happens and we have a need for help and friendship.
“Will they ask me why I have not called?”
“Will it sound like I am begging?”
“Why do I only call when there is bad news?”
FEAR
What is it within me, and I suspect within all of us that uses our fears to make our fears come true? I know that by reading my mothers Blog that she feels bad that she was not able to stay in touch. I know that by speaking with my significant other that she feels worried that she and her friends are growing apart. So, I know that I am not alone.
I am scared that if I feel this way, that it is likely that my friends feel this way. If we feel this way than it is likely that you and your friends feel this way. If we all feel this way then it is likely everyone feels this way. How do we stop it? How do we fix it?
I do not know.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Exit Stage Left
Have you seen this?
First of all let me commend this organization for taking full advantage of their ability to speak loudly under the laws created for them in our countries constitution. Now please allow me to do the same:
I must admit that my initial knee jerk reaction here was to lash back to what I read here. Rather than weigh the merits and demerits of the type of thinking shown on that site I was going to simply to say that they are wrong and I am correct and go on with my day. Instead I think it does me better to study this group and their words used under the same standard that I study others and myself.
As usual vocabulary plays an important part when trying to understand. The word regime does not in itself have a negative definition:
re·gime n.
-
- A form of government: a fascist regime.
- A government in power; administration: suffered under the new regime.
- A prevailing social system or pattern.
- The period during which a particular administration or system prevails.
- A regulated system, as of diet and exercise; a regimen.
The understood meanings and feelings that come to our minds when we hear the word however paint a much darker picture. It is impossible to communicate our own opinions without somehow stimulating thought in the listener. We choose words that either properly describes how we ourselves feel or we choose words that will inspire a thought or emotion in others. I don't know yet how to describe when one might happen and when the other is the goal, but I think that one basic “rule” is in public writing.
The reason I do my writing here is because I know that in public writing I am kept to a more honest standard. To be honest if this were not a public area my initial “knee jerk” reaction would have won and these writings would have a much darker tone.
The writing on the above listed page uses a desperate tone meant to instill desperation in the reader. I am desperate enough as it is and I can easily understand how many Americans can feel like this. My question however what solutions do they offer? I myself criticize here. I feel in my heart that I know what it would take to get to a better world. I just don't think those things are possible.
We can all agree that something is wrong, but to say that ousting Bush will solve the problem is like saying that putting cream on your Herpes will be a cure for AIDS. The two problems are loosely related at best.
Where does “freedom of speech” guarantee that we will be listened too? We can cry all we want to when we get cut but it is not until we understand the safest way to handle a knife that we can stop the problem from happening again. It is unfortunate that popularity can give weight to opinions where understanding and wisdom should be the only tools allowed to build our new world.
Looking at the Middle East we see that there are many organizations which our soldiers are called upon to think of as an enemy. They vary in their beliefs and therefore they vary their methods. Some groups there are quite benign, but it is the extremists that get the attention. It is the extremist that is the mark by which all others are judged. It is the extremist who yells so loudly that he “drowns out” ALL beliefs other than their own.
It is unfortunate that most children do not have the tools to properly argue a point well enough to change a parent’s opinion. It is unfortunate that some parents feel a need to do things in there own way regardless of the wisdom our children might inadvertently give us. I love all children, I try to understand all children, and I think that all children have wisdom to offer us, but I only respect those who can convey that wisdom through either dialect or action. These children are rare, but they are out there.
When is “being heard” not enough?
I think that what follows is more concerning the problems behind The World Can't Wait and less about the actual site.
It is hard for me to stay on just one angle here.
I will quietly say here that this type of organization offends me personally. I can not say that they are right or wrong for anyone else. I am trying here to weigh the good and bad, but I personally believe those who do have a voice (not me) who are trying to work within the system for honest change and growth are going to be hurt by this type of thing. In a world where things are judged as right and wrong this presents a whole new definition of wrong for all in the grey area to be placed in.
A new superpower is defining itself in our countries political forum. More and more people are prepared to misuse the “Weapon of Mass Persuasion.” Some could argue that like the WMD’s, the WMP could be used as a terrorist tool as much as way to avert violence.
Like it or not, the fear of WMD is what defines the credibility of a country on the world’s stage. Will it logically follow that fear of WMP will be expected to define the credibility of our nations stage?
If we allow celebrity status to become our moral compass then we are to be victims of the most vicious type of peer pressure ever put before us. The “cool kids” are doing it, so it must be the right thing to do? We attempt to instill on our children the need to make rational decisions based on reasonable definitions of right and wrong. We expect somehow that they will be able to do this without to much input by us, because they are inherently good. How often do we find that those who say “we can make our own decisions” are the ones working hardest to influence us to agree with their opinions?
I ask myself while standing under the bleachers: “Why should I listen to my parents?”, when the question should be: “Why should I listen to the cool kid?” The cool kid knows how to let you make your own decisions without “telling” you what decision to make. The cool kid is not in the business of giving explanations.
So few people are willing to let there be any neutral parties in this war of public opinion.
In my world of truth and facts I have to look at things this way:
I admit that I don't know.
If it is truth that everything happens for a reason then the things we witness are a small part of a plan and therefore out of our control. If it is truth that all things are reactions to a previous reaction then we are only small parts of the chaos and therefore we should understand that these things are out of our control.
History is full if those whose message lasted throughout time. Few have made it through the rise and falls of Empires to be considered wisdom for generations to come. Of those who have survived and have become respected, none have advocated radical fundamental changes, and all have advocated tolerance.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Follow the yellow brick road.
Rules & Reality
The goal I believe is to find a way to make them equal. Unfortunately I don't think it is possible for us to make rules that can keep up with reality. I think that this may have been where my concept of truth and fact has come from. I think everyone at some time in their life must have seen an example of this.
Where I run into trouble at times in my life is when I spend so much time complaining that the rules were broken, instead of just facing my new reality. Its hard for me to understand every event just for itself. It is in my nature to try to find a pattern and therefore create a rule. I think its human nature to do this. I have trouble at times in my life when something does not fit the rule I gave it, and rather than just accept it I am trying to compartmentalize it. This post like every other post here is an attempt to define the interactions of life. Why can̢۪t I just follow the advice of loved ones and live day by day?
So here is what I have:
Truth | Completely dependant on perspective |
Fact | True from every perspective. |
Rule | Suspected outcome of the interaction between known Truths and Facts. |
Reality | Actual outcome of the interaction between known and unknown Truths and Facts. |
So at least I am still on the road to "Wisdom". Not sure what I am doing with it.
Until I figured out that Algebra was more about problem solving and not really about "math" I was failing. Unfortunately the facts of numbers, make "math" the easiest way of teaching Problem Solving. So I was stuck with that. I wonder how Mr. Carr would feel if he saw this.
Truth + Truth = Truth
Truth + Fact = Truth
Fact + Fact = Fact
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Why do I need to know?
It is hard to pick just one thing going on in the world to try to understand. Technology has made our world smaller over the years by allowing us to see things that just 2 decades ago we never would have heard of. We are at a point now where I can know virtually every piece of public information if I only take the time to look. Why do I need to know?
Our world has been built by societies and cultures that until recently had no opportunity to come together on a plan. At this point no country wants to reform.
(REFORM- I am NOT working here under a definition of “fix”, “patch-up”, or “reeducate”. I am in fact thinking of reform under its simplest possible definition in the English language. RE-FORM, as in FORM AGAIN.)
I could and likely will one day explain the need for our governments to reform, but it won’t be today.
Now we can form our own opinions on the world. This is a luxury that our grandparents did not have. We have an ability to make our own opinions based what we witness with our own eyes. If we chose to only rely on what we are told then we are derelict in our duties.
It is not our job to provide the answers to our children. It is our job to provide the evidence that lead us to our answers, and hope that they agree. It’s known that one generation never agrees with the generation before it, and that is because every generation has more information than the one before it. Shouldn’t we try to get the same amount of information that will be available to our children BEFORE they get it? We owe it to them to give them what our parents could not give us.
I believe that there is a universal “desire” to provide every option for our children. We “desire” different things. Your list of things may include money, comfort, education or some concept that I can not grasp, but if it does not include knowledge than your list is not complete.
We can not provide evidence to a question we have not taken the time to think about for ourselves. It is not uncommon for parents to not know what their kids are being taught in school because the parent was not taught while they were in school….or college…or graduate school.
I need to know about Jill Carroll. I need to know about Iran. I need to know how our government works and how other governments work I need know what makes the Sky Blue. The list goes on forever. You will pay taxes or a private institution to educate your child, but the responsibility of giving your child knowledge is yours and yours alone.
That is why I need to know. That is why I am here. I can not give them money or comfort or many of the things you give your children, but I can try to give understanding and tolerance and patience. The first step however is getting it myself. I can try to give them a better world but for that I will be needing your help.
Jill Carroll
![]() By all accounts Jill Carroll, a freelance writer currently employed by the “Christian Science Monitor” is an educated young woman. She is photogenic, and even without make-up I think most young American Fighting men would say “hottie.” For those of you that don't recognize the name this young woman, she was kidnapped recently by some undisclosed Iraqi group. At the time I am writing this there has not been an accurate time given of her kidnapping, nor has there been a time given for the time that AlJazeera has received the tape and the kidnappers’ demands. If prayers will bring your God into action then I request that we get started. It's Dangerous if we all get along. I have trouble imagining a world where the American press and the American government can come to a true agreement of goals. I think though that if this young woman dies in the hands of these people that we will find it happening for a short time. If you have been paying attention over the last week you will know that CNN was thrown out of Iran for misquoting their president. Iran said publicly that it would allow CNN back in the country once it has shown that it would have fair and balanced reporting concerning Iran’s actions. Less than 24 hours later CNN was let back into the country and there has not been another words said on the matter. What agency has the ability to convince a powerful and feared world government to change its mind so rapidly? If I can believe that all decisions are based in fear as I have written here then I have to ask myself: What does the Iranian government fear from CNN? “We the people” think of channels like CNN as a news station on our cable television. It may surprise some to learn that other countries see CNN as shapers of American Opinion. American Opinion is a feared and hated thing. The balance we maintain here in America is based on fundamental differences of opinion between our Government and our Media. The death of this young woman will make not only the people of America cry out for “justice”, but our press will let go of whatever imaginary leash its been holding on the dogs of war. This young woman has risked her life for the purpose of providing a balanced opinion of the Iraqi people. She is looking for peace, and understanding. If they do not let her do that, they will see what happens when the American Government is allowed to fuel its war machine with the hatred of the American people. I don't believe that these people could have possibly have chosen a worse person to kidnap.
This photo swiped from http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/09/jill_carroll_us_jour.html Provided by MSNBC
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Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Thank you little Johnny
One of the tools we use to understand things that are happening on a global scale is to look at it in a smaller forum and try to decide how we would judge it. Here is an example of how doing that can maybe lead us to the opinions we don't hear yelled in the streets.
Example 1
I am a child. I have been told that little Johnny down the street is bad and I know that is the opinion of my parents and friends. My parents tell me that if I keep being Johnny’s friend that I will be punished. My parents and friends are kind of irrational at times and I know they do things without thinking about it. I know that they are looking for Johnny and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I see that everywhere Johnny goes that not only are people trying to punish him but they are also punishing everyone who helps him. I like Johnny. I don't think he did anything that bad. I want to help. I try to help Johnny. My parents and friends find out. They punish me.
Who’s fault is it I got punished?
A. Is it Johnny’s fault?
B. Is it my parents and friends fault?
C. Or is it mine.
D. All of the above
I am working under this “fact”: In any situation it is the actions and attitudes of everyone involved that are the cause of a situation. Based on that “D” is the simple answer, but I try not to deal in simple answers. SO……….
We know that everyone here is to blame but I ask that I make some kind of order. (If you want to play along now is your chance to think about it without my opinion having any influence on you.)
I have thought about it and I am going with C-A-B in order of “blame”.
C. I think in this situation the child understood that the parents were serious and consistent in their actions. I also think that the child believes that the parents and friends will act without thinking and therefore should not be trusted to act in a rational manner. If we understand all the possible outcomes of a situation and still make our decisions we forfeit any right for complaint if one of those situations comes true.
A. In this situation Johnny did something to make the irrational Parents and friends mad. He is either justified or he is not. It happens. In most cases it results in the parents and friends lashing back. It is an understood repercussion of his actions. He witnesses his friends being hurt for helping him and unfortunately has to continue accepting the help that is offered. He hopes his friends understand what helping him could lead too. He knows what it could lead too and yet he accepts the help.
B. The parents here may be irrational and unthinking but at least they are constant. That Consistency is the ONLY thing that won’t let me move them up the list higher. As parents they should understand that Johnny did something wrong and others should not be punished for his problems. As parents they should consistently try not to punish the child for standing up for what he believes in and helping Johnny. They should actively insure that only Johnny gets punished for Johnny’s crimes and that the crime of helping Johnny does not have the same punishment. However, again I say that their consistency makes them the least to be blamed in this scenario.
Having done my best to explain my thinking in that scenario I want to re-write Example 1. I will attempt to mark my edits.
Example 1-B
I am a man from Damadola. I have been told that Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda is considered bad and I know that is the opinion of America and my own government. America and my own government tell me that if I keep being Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda’s friend that I will be Bombed. America and my own government are kind of irrational at times and I know they do things without thinking about it. I know that they are looking for Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I see that everywhere Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda goes that not only are people trying to BOMB him but they are also BOMBING everyone who helps him. I like Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda. I don't think he did anything that bad. I want to help. I try to help Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda. America and my own government find out. They BOMB me.
Who’s fault is it I got BOMBED?
A. Is it Ayman al-Zawahiri from Al Qaeda’s fault?
B. Is it America and my own government’s fault?
C. Or is it mine.
D. All of the above
I think I am done for the day.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Discovering My Faithless Religion Pt2
OK.If you have not read part 1 of this I would recommend that you start there and then come back here.
Discovering My Faithless Religion
So we are working under the terms that there is no heaven and there is no hell. We are also working under the impression that the vast majority of us accept the 10 commandments as the basis of right and wrong.I guess the next question would be; Why do the right thing for no reward?
Quite frankly I don't know! I have discussed here in these posts that I feel all of our decisions are based in fear. Without a heaven or a hell though what are we afraid of? What makes a true atheist, (if there is such a thing), do right from wrong? Is it respect of his fellow man that he is striving for? I just don't know. This might be something everyone has to come to their own answers about. I don't know what my answer is.
I am trying to be good for the sake of being good, but as always there is some motive there. There is always something. There is always a reward either real or supposed. I may not even know what it is but I know its there somewhere. Even if I receive nothing physical for my actions I still receive a positive feeling and that is a reward.
I think the best we as humans can do to be better human beings is to consider self fulfillment as the ONLY reward. I mean you can “hope” for your heavenly reward, but I can not personally believe
that any entity so benevolent as these gods seem to be would be so petty that they feel a need to hear their own names. I guess a good question here is whether or not our Gods believe that good deeds are enough or whether advertising is the goal.
Also I have to believe that our Gods know when we are doing good and also know when we need help without our prayers. I would hope that they know right from wrong. As usually though I am more than willing to be taught facts to disprove my truths, so if you have any other evidence that would lead me to believe that our gods need these things than I am happy to hear them.
For now though I have to go with what makes me fulfilled because that the only reward I have faith in.
I'm sure Ill write more on this as more comes to me.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
This is how it must have felt.
I have not had any contact with them in any way for years and recently was sent a link to the oldest’s Blog. He is turning 18 and is joining the Army. His Blog does not have anything personal on it and for the most part is a collection of internet “personality polls”, all of which have him listed as the coolest of the possibilities.
To be 100% honest I have to say that I was truly glad and unfortunately a little surprised that he was even alive. I know that may seem like an exaggeration but I can not properly describe what mindset I have seen this kid in.
I have seen him happy. I have seen him sad. I seen him stressed and without care in the world, but most of all I have seen him cry. All of these things listed were at times because of me. I have sat alone in a room trying to understand how a human being can get to a point that I had turned into. I had become everything that I did not want to be, all so I could make him into what he wanted to be.
He does not know about this Blog and I don't want him to know. His tests are coming and when it’s over I’ll be judged. There will be more tears.
When it was discovered that this young man was going to join the Army I was sent the link to let me know that I had in fact had some effect on the boys life and decision making process. I criticize the military here in my space. I criticize more those who can not understand why some people need to join the military. I talk here at times that some people join because they have no other real option. This young man easily falls into this category. The rest of the world really does not have any place for him and he no longer has any place for the world.
I think he also falls into a space that I have not discussed. There are some whose life has been so upsetting and disturbed, that the chaos of war, and the discipline brought to them is the only thing able to being them back to “reality”. Imagine your life for a minute a place where you have been so far out of control that the concept of going to war seems calming.
I am amazed at times to watch the young chase down discipline all in the name finding their freedom. I am even more amazed at how that discipline eventually gives them the power to know they were free all along.
Good luck Son
Please remember that you need to be alive to spend that GI Bill, and your friends will appreciate it more if you pull them back into safety rather than taking the bullet for them.
I love you and I am not the only one.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Discovering My Faithless Religion
phi·los·o·phy (f(image placeholder)-l(image placeholder)s(image placeholder)(image placeholder)-f(image placeholder))n. pl. phi·los·o·phies
- Love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means and moral self-discipline.
- Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.
- A system of thought based on or involving such inquiry: the philosophy of Hume.
- The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.
- The disciplines presented in university curriculums of science and the liberal arts, except medicine, law, and theology.
- The discipline comprising logic, ethics, aesthetics, metaphysics, and epistemology.
- A set of ideas or beliefs relating to a particular field or activity; an underlying theory: an original philosophy of advertising.
- A system of values by which one lives: has an unusual philosophy of life.
These are all very good definitions, and all apply to my goals, but I want to go one step further. In my mind I define philosophy such as this;
Philosophy: A faithless religion.
I believe (I am more than willing to be corrected in this) that if any religious belief were to remove everything from their religion that involves faith, you would be left with the philosophy that was its basis.
I believe that religions are formed when we as humans meet a situation that our philosophy does not explain and rather than accept that we can not explain it, we attempt to bridge the gap with faith.
Faith has been the killing factor for me when I think about religion. I go back and re-read some of the things I have here and I realize that I really have no faith. I have beliefs that attempt to reconcile the things I know to be true with the things I can not explain, but to say I have true faith in them would be a lie, and I am tired of lying.
faith Pronunciation Key (f(image placeholder)th)n.
- Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
- Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief. See Synonyms at trust.
- Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
- often Faith Christianity. The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.
- The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.
- A set of principles or beliefs.
I want with all my being to be respectful to the faiths of others in this post. I want you to understand that I respect your faith in your faith.
I have been told of or have read about the workings of God. I have been witnessed to and testified too but I have never had a definitive example set down to me that these actions could only be done by “god” and only “god”.
Nor have I seen any evidence that any other explanation is more correct. One thing I can come to terms with is that I don't know everything. That much is evident.
Believe it or not though this post is not to prove or disprove God though. If you are here for some Christian bashing then I am afraid that I am going to disappoint you. This post will however take a brief look at the philosophy of religions including Christianity. I think what I am trying to do is find the common ground that they share. I believe all these opinions come from somewhere.
Most accepted religions have a simple “carrot and the stick” system in place. They don't all agree with the details, but there is enough faith that they are in fact there that people have been dieing for their beliefs. I think to remove faith from something I have to remove reward. I have to say there is no Heaven, therefore there is no Hell. (No Reward equals No punishment)
Most faithfully accept the presence of a divine caretaker, who looks over us and for a variety of reasons wants us to live out our lives in their service.
There are some who have faith that life as we know it is capable for our creation. (aliens)
We human beings have a variety of faiths. My attempt here is to discover the philosophies behind them.
If we take away faith we have only the rules are left to guide us. We are left with the idea that we should do the right thing because it is the right thing and for no other reason. We are left with facts to base our lives on and not supposition.
It may surprise some to know that the Egyptians as well as the Hittites had laws which are very similar to the Ten Commandments, which Moses is said to have brought down from the mountain. We know that they had these laws in place LONG before Moses had his talk with God. We know what the Ten Commandments are the accepted base of the laws and legal system of the world. They are for all intents and purposes the rules by which we live. Islam, Hebrew, and Christians all accept them as the basis of acceptable behavior. (Islam recognizes them but does not have them quoted in the Qur’an) Only after faith is added do we start killing.
I have a few quick notes before I go for the day, First there is more than one version of the ten commandments and the accepted version taught in America is NOT the correct translation from the original Hebrew text. Next, these ideas of “right and wrong” come from somewhere. They started somewhere. One person or one group of people put them or something very similar in writing. Why? I hope that “IF” we can ever figure that out we will begin to find a philosophy worth having faith in.
Well it’s a small start but it’s a start. I will be back later I have some thinking to do.