When I was a child I was told I can be whatever I want to be. We as Americans are born into a world of hope. I am white. My children are white. I have been told by friends and acquaintances that minorities in this country were not always told that, and they don’t always tell there children. I say that I was “told by friends” to point out that I have many NON-white friends. I am not getting my opinions from “The Jeffersons” reruns
I am older now and through a series of events have come to realize I was lied to. I can not be whatever I want to be. Like everyone else I am defined by my skin color, income, and gender and a variety of other factors including physical appearance. A series of possibilities will be given to me based on those facts.
I was born and lived my early childhood in an Urban New York neighborhood. I was the minority. Due to problems in school and the meeting of her second husband my mother decided it would be best if we moved to where she was born. Rural West Virginia. You can imagine the culture shock.
Like a lot of people I was poor. Even by WV standards. The term White Trash has been used and I suppose it would apply. My grandfather reminded me daily that I needed to go to college. My grades were great, and through testing it was found that I had a learning curve well above the national level.
MONEY……I had none. I did not play sports. I had no interests in science other than working with computers and computer programs. At the time there was NO such thing as a college “computer” course, let alone scholarships. Like many that age I was stubborn and did not think that I should have to do something that I was not interested. Because I “could be whatever” I wanted to be, I “knew” there had to be a chance.
I ended up joining the Army so that I could use the GI Bill, because I did not qualify for any special program. I was not a “minority” by the national definition. I was not pregnant. I could not sell tickets in a stadium. Still I could be whatever I wanted to be as long as I “tried harder”.
By the time I was 17 I was in a war. I had killed before I was 18 but it was not until after my 18th birthday had I seen a face of a person I killed. I had seen many dead bodies by then but this one I have seen many times since.
I am sure at sometime I will go into more detail about this time in my life, but this is enough for now I think.
I was not alone. My unit was full of many people from many areas of our “great” country. We covered every race and religion known to man, but we were all poor. I can not describe my feelings when I received my first paycheck. I had never seen so much money before and I was pretty sure I was the highest paid 17 years old from my high school. Killing is something that everyone can do regardless of there beginnings or background. It is fact the only thing everyone can do. Even prostitution has prerequisites.
I am all for equal opportunity in our country. I don’t know how were going to do that as long as there is a “check box for race” box on any application in our country. I do not believe I should have to pay or suffer because of something my ancestors may or may not have done.
We as Americans have lied to ourselves and others for so long that we believe the lie ourselves.
Yes there are a select few white people who have power but they care as little about us poor white people as they care about poor anybody else. Every race has them. There are a select few of power in our world, the rest of us simply live our lives having absolutely NO impact. They tell us the same lies they tell everyone and we are as powerless as anybody else. We need to stop believing that “white people are better off”, or that even “America is Great’, because both are truths only from a certain point of view. We form our opinions from the information that is given to us. It is our jobs to verify that information is fact.
We know that other countries have some bizarre opinions about us, what most don’t know is why. We have some very untrue opinions about ourselves and we don’t know why about that either
There may have been a time when “Whites” had the power. If I am to believe what I have read in my history books then it must be true. Based on what I have seen with my own two eyes though I would be more likely to believe that Money had the power then and it has the power now.
We can not change anything as long as we listen to those old men who tell us to hate. Regardless of our backgrounds, borders or philosophies we allow ourselves a very “us and them” mindset. We say “us” but our actions prove otherwise. Even now, as I talk about “us” what I mean is “me”. I am as guilty as the next guy.
I have grown enough that I no longer judge because of the skin or religious beliefs, but is it possible to not judge at all for any reason? Fear pushes me to make the “right” decision.
(Note to self: I have just discovered another “fact” for the fact post. My List of Facts )
“All decisions are based in fear.”
We (me, you, and everyone you know or have ever met) make our decisions based on fear. This I believe is a fact that can not change. Even love is a product of fear, and promotes further fear. Regardless of whether or not our religion teaches us of a grand punishment or reward we still fear that we might be wrong. When your faith out weights your fear then you believe.
If Faith > fear then belief = yes
The strength of the fear was still the deciding factor. Fear is there regardless of what else might be there with it. It is the one constant and all other emotions and thoughts spring from it in some way. Please if you can think of an example otherwise, I would gladly like to hear it.
Well, believe it or not I am still talking about White America. Our fear guides our decisions. We fear. Even those who the powers are shifting to are afraid of it.
I do not speak for White America, or any other group that I was born into or have chosen to join. I speak for me and as me I have to say I am afraid.
I am afraid to trust in an America that is different than the one I was told about when I was born. (Not that it ever existed.) I do not trust that power will even out to be fair for everyone, but instead the power will shift in a way that makes me and my children even weaker than we are now. I fear that my children will no longer be in the power of a government that has forgotten about us, but will now be in the power of a government that wants revenge for crimes they did not commit. I don't believe that my children deserve better treatment than yours, whoever “you” might be, but I’ll worry about teaching tolerance to my children and you make sure you teach it to yours. If we do our job right, maybe they will meet and get along.
White America is not dead, but it is paralyzed from the neck down. It’s dieing and it knows it. Sadly, it still has to listen to the children fight over the furniture.
