I have abused many addictions. I have been “proud” of my ability to out abuse others. Those of us who have addictions tell stories much like war veterans telling stories. We have our own social standing based on “how long” or “how much.” We will brag about what we lost while we pat our pockets looking for our lighters. I have driven myself to be the best addict I could be, mainly because I did not think I could be a good at anything else. Eventually I even gave credit for my successes to my addictions, rather than realize I did great things in spite of them.
I recently quit smoking. I am at about 6 months now and at times I still want a cigarette. I used a variety of ways to stop, including some of the gum, (which is more expensive than smoking) as well as weaning myself down. Eventually I simply could not afford to continue. It’s proven that smoking is a habit whose addictions hit you from many angles. Not only chemically, but also through some sort of mental response trigger. Which is to say that when you do something that you used to do while smoking, you want to smoke. Let me tell you that after half my life of two packs a day there is not much that I have not done “while smoking”. Being able to work at home or working in entertainment did not help. For most the ability to smoke at work is limited but I was not restrained.
I am passed the moodiness now I think. I have been blessed to be in an environment that has been smoke free for the last six months, but for the holidays I will be visiting family and friends. If I were to write about many happy memories in my life, I could easily include the words “drinking” and “smoking”. I am until now untested. My arrogance would not allow me to quit and I am hoping now that my arrogance will not allow me to lose the battle.
I wrote yesterday here about my decisions being based on fear. Throughout the day I thought considerably about how fear really did rule my life. I have been taught to be scared, and I have taught that fear to others.
Using the words “peer pressures” makes about as much sense as “half pregnant”. To say that our addictions are brought about by the “cool kids” tempting us under the bleachers is pretty naive. Something got the cool kids hooked.
I was born in the early 70’s and in that time the general social status of smoking as well as other drugs was much different that we look at it now. I have in my time sampled most drugs that have made it to the news or to popular media. I told myself then and I continue to believe that I did them in a more or less clinical mindset. Some I enjoyed some I did not. Because I had never bothered to get involved enough to lose the lotto I can honestly say I have never had a “bad trip”.
It may be hard for some to believe, but I was “made to understand” which drugs were “ok” and which were not at a very young age. There were drugs done in the house as long as I can remember when I was a child. Tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana were consistent parts of my family’s life. I say above “made to understand”, because what happened is VERY different from being taught.
I am not condoning my mother’s addictions, so please don't think that. I am trying to understand my addictions, and to do that I need to understand hers.
My mothers’ drug of choice is Marijuana. She is also a tobacco user as well as a drinker. She has used these three in concert as long as I can remember, and will likely continue to use them until she passes on.
As far as I can remember my mother never really tried to hide what she did from me. Of course she did realize I was present and did not make an effort to glamorize it. Thinking about it now I can say that maybe I was trusted more than other family members, because I was told/asked not to tell if asked. My mother tried other drugs. I only know this because she has told me so, I have never witnessed her doing these things but something in the way she worded it makes me believe her. When asked why she does not “do” other drugs she will answer the same virtually every time.
“This is enough; I would like that too much.”
I want to be perfectly clear here that when I was a child my mother and I did not get along well. I was so arrogant that I looked at her life and pretty much ignored everything that came from her mouth because I was a normal child who really believes that my parent has no grip on “real” life. A combination of her lack of self-esteem and my abundance of self-esteem created a place where we could not have ever survived together. She needed leadership as badly as I did and although we both wanted to help the other we really did not have the tools.
However, hidden in that woman was a lesson that has probably gone the farthest towards keeping me clean, and keeping me alive. She does not know how this one statement has kept me going and is helping me come out of the fog of lies and fear that I have created for myself.
My mother is addicted to marijuana, but she was still able to set that line and not cross it. How many people can say “This is enough.” when offered more of whatever it is that they feel makes them happy?
I was shown that there is a line of happiness that I must set. It was not until I was much older that I actually understood that to be true. I have to decide what makes me happy. There is a limit to the drugs I can take advantage of to make me happy. Alcohol, love, tobacco, faith, greed, lust, as well as so many others are all addictions and I have to choose what enough is. I have to look at my life and find out which ones I don't need, get rid of them, and take the ones I feel I do need in moderation.
There was a time when I literally looked at my cigarette and said the words: “This makes me happy.” The most powerful lies are the one we tell ourselves. When I have the craving now I can look around at the comfort I already have and say “This is enough.”
I wonder at times if I have ever been “happy”. Does “happier” equal “happy”? I am happier now that I have been at any point in my life. I do not know the words to explain the joy I felt with the birth of my daughters, but at the time I was so overwhelmed with fear for them and for me that I don't know if you can call that “happy”.
Currently I am with a woman who knows that I am a failure. I say this is as a positive thing, so if you are just casually reading this, please don't think that I am unhappy in my relationship. If you have ever failed in any one thing then you are a failure. You really should embrace the idea because I think you can find a lot of happiness in it. When you find someone who at the time of meeting you knows that you are a failure and also knows that chances are you will fail again, yet he or she thinks failing with you would make them happier than succeeding with someone else, I think you may be on the trail of love.
Looking around, it is easy to see that it is the “successful” people who seem to be happy. I don't know if its “true” but that is how it seems. It is they who seem to be sought after for opportunities of love. Again, I have to ask myself what happiness is. Also I would like to point out that the “successful” people are the ones with the most addictions, and that seeking only them for love is evidence that you are chasing addictions of your own. Success itself is an addiction.
I have someone sitting with me on my side of the teeter-totter and together we help to balance out our problems which are stacked on the other side. We are failures but we have not failed. Together we will achieve whatever we need to do to get balance, but I truly hope that we do no more than that.
It has often been said that “Winning is addictive.” There has to come a time when you have to say: “This is enough”. I am not saying that you should try to lose but instead you should ask why you are competing in the first place. Are you doing it honestly because you want to, or are you doing it because of fear of what might happen if you lose? This is a question that is hard to answer out loud, even after we come to terms with it in our thoughts and our soul. (The heart is not a decision maker in my opinion. I believe in a spirit or soul that is one of the deciding factors of our decision making. IF you don't agree that is your right.)
Many people use their addictions to “fight” their fear, but besides distracting us what have our addictions done. Pain and suffering makes us “want” these addictive things. The Fears of pain and suffering make us believe we “need’ them.
I still have fears and therefore I still have addictions, but for right now: “This is enough.”
I love you Mom, and you don't have to be afraid.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Children of White America
When I was a child I was told I can be whatever I want to be. We as Americans are born into a world of hope. I am white. My children are white. I have been told by friends and acquaintances that minorities in this country were not always told that, and they don’t always tell there children. I say that I was “told by friends” to point out that I have many NON-white friends. I am not getting my opinions from “The Jeffersons” reruns
I am older now and through a series of events have come to realize I was lied to. I can not be whatever I want to be. Like everyone else I am defined by my skin color, income, and gender and a variety of other factors including physical appearance. A series of possibilities will be given to me based on those facts.
I was born and lived my early childhood in an Urban New York neighborhood. I was the minority. Due to problems in school and the meeting of her second husband my mother decided it would be best if we moved to where she was born. Rural West Virginia. You can imagine the culture shock.
Like a lot of people I was poor. Even by WV standards. The term White Trash has been used and I suppose it would apply. My grandfather reminded me daily that I needed to go to college. My grades were great, and through testing it was found that I had a learning curve well above the national level.
MONEY……I had none. I did not play sports. I had no interests in science other than working with computers and computer programs. At the time there was NO such thing as a college “computer” course, let alone scholarships. Like many that age I was stubborn and did not think that I should have to do something that I was not interested. Because I “could be whatever” I wanted to be, I “knew” there had to be a chance.
I ended up joining the Army so that I could use the GI Bill, because I did not qualify for any special program. I was not a “minority” by the national definition. I was not pregnant. I could not sell tickets in a stadium. Still I could be whatever I wanted to be as long as I “tried harder”.
By the time I was 17 I was in a war. I had killed before I was 18 but it was not until after my 18th birthday had I seen a face of a person I killed. I had seen many dead bodies by then but this one I have seen many times since.
I am sure at sometime I will go into more detail about this time in my life, but this is enough for now I think.
I was not alone. My unit was full of many people from many areas of our “great” country. We covered every race and religion known to man, but we were all poor. I can not describe my feelings when I received my first paycheck. I had never seen so much money before and I was pretty sure I was the highest paid 17 years old from my high school. Killing is something that everyone can do regardless of there beginnings or background. It is fact the only thing everyone can do. Even prostitution has prerequisites.
I am all for equal opportunity in our country. I don’t know how were going to do that as long as there is a “check box for race” box on any application in our country. I do not believe I should have to pay or suffer because of something my ancestors may or may not have done.
We as Americans have lied to ourselves and others for so long that we believe the lie ourselves.
Yes there are a select few white people who have power but they care as little about us poor white people as they care about poor anybody else. Every race has them. There are a select few of power in our world, the rest of us simply live our lives having absolutely NO impact. They tell us the same lies they tell everyone and we are as powerless as anybody else. We need to stop believing that “white people are better off”, or that even “America is Great’, because both are truths only from a certain point of view. We form our opinions from the information that is given to us. It is our jobs to verify that information is fact.
We know that other countries have some bizarre opinions about us, what most don’t know is why. We have some very untrue opinions about ourselves and we don’t know why about that either
There may have been a time when “Whites” had the power. If I am to believe what I have read in my history books then it must be true. Based on what I have seen with my own two eyes though I would be more likely to believe that Money had the power then and it has the power now.
We can not change anything as long as we listen to those old men who tell us to hate. Regardless of our backgrounds, borders or philosophies we allow ourselves a very “us and them” mindset. We say “us” but our actions prove otherwise. Even now, as I talk about “us” what I mean is “me”. I am as guilty as the next guy.
I have grown enough that I no longer judge because of the skin or religious beliefs, but is it possible to not judge at all for any reason? Fear pushes me to make the “right” decision.
(Note to self: I have just discovered another “fact” for the fact post. My List of Facts )
“All decisions are based in fear.”
We (me, you, and everyone you know or have ever met) make our decisions based on fear. This I believe is a fact that can not change. Even love is a product of fear, and promotes further fear. Regardless of whether or not our religion teaches us of a grand punishment or reward we still fear that we might be wrong. When your faith out weights your fear then you believe.
If Faith > fear then belief = yes
The strength of the fear was still the deciding factor. Fear is there regardless of what else might be there with it. It is the one constant and all other emotions and thoughts spring from it in some way. Please if you can think of an example otherwise, I would gladly like to hear it.
Well, believe it or not I am still talking about White America. Our fear guides our decisions. We fear. Even those who the powers are shifting to are afraid of it.
I do not speak for White America, or any other group that I was born into or have chosen to join. I speak for me and as me I have to say I am afraid.
I am afraid to trust in an America that is different than the one I was told about when I was born. (Not that it ever existed.) I do not trust that power will even out to be fair for everyone, but instead the power will shift in a way that makes me and my children even weaker than we are now. I fear that my children will no longer be in the power of a government that has forgotten about us, but will now be in the power of a government that wants revenge for crimes they did not commit. I don't believe that my children deserve better treatment than yours, whoever “you” might be, but I’ll worry about teaching tolerance to my children and you make sure you teach it to yours. If we do our job right, maybe they will meet and get along.
White America is not dead, but it is paralyzed from the neck down. It’s dieing and it knows it. Sadly, it still has to listen to the children fight over the furniture.
I am older now and through a series of events have come to realize I was lied to. I can not be whatever I want to be. Like everyone else I am defined by my skin color, income, and gender and a variety of other factors including physical appearance. A series of possibilities will be given to me based on those facts.
I was born and lived my early childhood in an Urban New York neighborhood. I was the minority. Due to problems in school and the meeting of her second husband my mother decided it would be best if we moved to where she was born. Rural West Virginia. You can imagine the culture shock.
Like a lot of people I was poor. Even by WV standards. The term White Trash has been used and I suppose it would apply. My grandfather reminded me daily that I needed to go to college. My grades were great, and through testing it was found that I had a learning curve well above the national level.
MONEY……I had none. I did not play sports. I had no interests in science other than working with computers and computer programs. At the time there was NO such thing as a college “computer” course, let alone scholarships. Like many that age I was stubborn and did not think that I should have to do something that I was not interested. Because I “could be whatever” I wanted to be, I “knew” there had to be a chance.
I ended up joining the Army so that I could use the GI Bill, because I did not qualify for any special program. I was not a “minority” by the national definition. I was not pregnant. I could not sell tickets in a stadium. Still I could be whatever I wanted to be as long as I “tried harder”.
By the time I was 17 I was in a war. I had killed before I was 18 but it was not until after my 18th birthday had I seen a face of a person I killed. I had seen many dead bodies by then but this one I have seen many times since.
I am sure at sometime I will go into more detail about this time in my life, but this is enough for now I think.
I was not alone. My unit was full of many people from many areas of our “great” country. We covered every race and religion known to man, but we were all poor. I can not describe my feelings when I received my first paycheck. I had never seen so much money before and I was pretty sure I was the highest paid 17 years old from my high school. Killing is something that everyone can do regardless of there beginnings or background. It is fact the only thing everyone can do. Even prostitution has prerequisites.
I am all for equal opportunity in our country. I don’t know how were going to do that as long as there is a “check box for race” box on any application in our country. I do not believe I should have to pay or suffer because of something my ancestors may or may not have done.
We as Americans have lied to ourselves and others for so long that we believe the lie ourselves.
Yes there are a select few white people who have power but they care as little about us poor white people as they care about poor anybody else. Every race has them. There are a select few of power in our world, the rest of us simply live our lives having absolutely NO impact. They tell us the same lies they tell everyone and we are as powerless as anybody else. We need to stop believing that “white people are better off”, or that even “America is Great’, because both are truths only from a certain point of view. We form our opinions from the information that is given to us. It is our jobs to verify that information is fact.
We know that other countries have some bizarre opinions about us, what most don’t know is why. We have some very untrue opinions about ourselves and we don’t know why about that either
There may have been a time when “Whites” had the power. If I am to believe what I have read in my history books then it must be true. Based on what I have seen with my own two eyes though I would be more likely to believe that Money had the power then and it has the power now.
We can not change anything as long as we listen to those old men who tell us to hate. Regardless of our backgrounds, borders or philosophies we allow ourselves a very “us and them” mindset. We say “us” but our actions prove otherwise. Even now, as I talk about “us” what I mean is “me”. I am as guilty as the next guy.
I have grown enough that I no longer judge because of the skin or religious beliefs, but is it possible to not judge at all for any reason? Fear pushes me to make the “right” decision.
(Note to self: I have just discovered another “fact” for the fact post. My List of Facts )
“All decisions are based in fear.”
We (me, you, and everyone you know or have ever met) make our decisions based on fear. This I believe is a fact that can not change. Even love is a product of fear, and promotes further fear. Regardless of whether or not our religion teaches us of a grand punishment or reward we still fear that we might be wrong. When your faith out weights your fear then you believe.
If Faith > fear then belief = yes
The strength of the fear was still the deciding factor. Fear is there regardless of what else might be there with it. It is the one constant and all other emotions and thoughts spring from it in some way. Please if you can think of an example otherwise, I would gladly like to hear it.
Well, believe it or not I am still talking about White America. Our fear guides our decisions. We fear. Even those who the powers are shifting to are afraid of it.
I do not speak for White America, or any other group that I was born into or have chosen to join. I speak for me and as me I have to say I am afraid.
I am afraid to trust in an America that is different than the one I was told about when I was born. (Not that it ever existed.) I do not trust that power will even out to be fair for everyone, but instead the power will shift in a way that makes me and my children even weaker than we are now. I fear that my children will no longer be in the power of a government that has forgotten about us, but will now be in the power of a government that wants revenge for crimes they did not commit. I don't believe that my children deserve better treatment than yours, whoever “you” might be, but I’ll worry about teaching tolerance to my children and you make sure you teach it to yours. If we do our job right, maybe they will meet and get along.
White America is not dead, but it is paralyzed from the neck down. It’s dieing and it knows it. Sadly, it still has to listen to the children fight over the furniture.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Drivers license for Illegal Immigrants?
Link to subject matter
The link is a Google search that will lead you to a variety of news article on this subject. I have to admit that until I was getting out of the shower this morning and heard some random comment on the television I did not know that this was a problem. It seems that our government is in places agreeing that Illegal Immigrants deserve and have the “right” to a driver’s license.
This is a much older subject than I ever could have guessed. I am wondering how with all of our fears and concerns of terrorism, that this is not something I have heard more of.
I do not think I can type as fast as the words come to my mind. Confusion has taken over my thought processes. At what point did we miss the word “illegal”. That one word alone should pretty much end the concept.
I started writing here because I have a need to answer some questions for myself, and although you may not realize it I have answered. I think I am more at terms with myself now than I have been for most of my life. I am not saying that I agree with my decisions, nor am I saying that I will settle for where I am, but I do understand more of the reasons how I got here. I say this because I know that many of my posts here are critical to one faction or another in government or society, and I don't want to be thought of as any kind of hate monger. I have always made an attempt to say what I believe is the correct choice rather than just pointing out what the wrong choice “was”. I try to point these things out as decisions are being made and not point out mistakes six months after in an attempt to be seen as correct.
I have discovered in the past few weeks that I really care. Please understand that I have spent the last 3rd of my life avoiding the issues of the world, telling myself the “truth” that it did not matter what my opinion was anyway. The “truth” is that my world had abandoned me. The “fact” is I abandoned it. Although I can not control the world I can control me if I make an effort.
Ok. I see now that I am not the only one who abandoned the world. First I would like to point out that there are many immigrants in this country who deserve to have a valid driver’s license. Students and other workers who are here for whatever legal reason have a real need for this service.
I may or may not get into the security problems our nation faces by allowing this type of thing to begin. I don't know whether I want to get into it right now in detail, but regardless I think it deserves to be mentioned anyway.
I believe that the more I think about it, and the more I ask “why” a situation can even exist, the more disturbed I am at where “We the people” are headed as a group. We are witnessing the further change of America as we know it.
The “why” here is not simple, nor is it fun to think about. We have rising poverty levels in our country. Even if you don't count natural disasters, and our “War on….(insert enemy here), we are going further and further in debt as a people and as a nation, financially and morally. There was a time when a young American male and eventually female would begin looking for a job at a young age. Why? Because they needed to and because it’s what was expected of them. There was a time when the focus was on making yourself better. Survival was one of the, if not “the” primary way of establishing yourself in the food chain. If you could survive on your own as well provide for your family then you were considered superior to those who could not. This method is pretty simple really.
Somewhere along the line there became more and more ways to be considered “superior.” A variety of things could propel you ahead of your fellow American. Talent, intelligence, understanding, and virtually any other “special” thing began to have a higher social standing. In a world where the majority could be thought of as equal, we looked for ways to feel better than our neighbor. As the ability to communicate grew so did the competition. Humans in general are competitive. Americans foster and use those feelings in a variety of ways. It is one of principal parts of being an American. It crosses all our boundaries of race, and religion. In America someone has to be right. Someone has to be better.
Believe it or not I am still on subject.
Humans evolve through laziness. We are told when we are born that we are better. We are told that we are special. The easiest way to feel better about ourselves is to believe it. The unfortunate side effect of this whole thing is that we came to a point somewhere where we began to believe that we were “too good” to do the things that made us American. Because of this feeling we can allow things like Illegal workers in our country. To be totally honest someone has to do the jobs these people are doing and if we do them we are admitting that we are not that special after all. The lies we tell ourselves are the ones that hurt the most.
This wave of self-denial has allowed us to get to a point in our countries growth where we begin to give away our countries safeguards rather than dig our own ditches. We will turn a blind eye to the safety of our children in order to save them from the disgrace of making their own cheeseburgers. We will send our soldiers to fight for our freedoms so that we can give them away ourselves, to those who are willing to work for them.
Take a brief moment to think of what identification you use most in you life. Think about what other freedoms that little card gives you. Think about how many times you really use stuff like a passport or birth certificate in your daily life to prove you identity.
We tell ourselves that we are great, and that we are better than the rest of our world, but what proof do we have to offer? What is better? Who decides?
I don't think we should allow non documented immigrants the right to drive legally in our country. All of the arguments to allow it to happen can be fought separately in other forums. However my opinion does not matter. Having the right of free speech does not guarantee that I have to right to be listened to regardless of what some would like to make us believe.
These laws will most likely pass. To quote myself: “Humans evolve through laziness.” I really don’t expect to stop any of the things discussed here in any of these posts. I only want to understand why they are happening. That is how I feel better. I feel better than those who don't.
The link is a Google search that will lead you to a variety of news article on this subject. I have to admit that until I was getting out of the shower this morning and heard some random comment on the television I did not know that this was a problem. It seems that our government is in places agreeing that Illegal Immigrants deserve and have the “right” to a driver’s license.
This is a much older subject than I ever could have guessed. I am wondering how with all of our fears and concerns of terrorism, that this is not something I have heard more of.
I do not think I can type as fast as the words come to my mind. Confusion has taken over my thought processes. At what point did we miss the word “illegal”. That one word alone should pretty much end the concept.
I started writing here because I have a need to answer some questions for myself, and although you may not realize it I have answered. I think I am more at terms with myself now than I have been for most of my life. I am not saying that I agree with my decisions, nor am I saying that I will settle for where I am, but I do understand more of the reasons how I got here. I say this because I know that many of my posts here are critical to one faction or another in government or society, and I don't want to be thought of as any kind of hate monger. I have always made an attempt to say what I believe is the correct choice rather than just pointing out what the wrong choice “was”. I try to point these things out as decisions are being made and not point out mistakes six months after in an attempt to be seen as correct.
I have discovered in the past few weeks that I really care. Please understand that I have spent the last 3rd of my life avoiding the issues of the world, telling myself the “truth” that it did not matter what my opinion was anyway. The “truth” is that my world had abandoned me. The “fact” is I abandoned it. Although I can not control the world I can control me if I make an effort.
Ok. I see now that I am not the only one who abandoned the world. First I would like to point out that there are many immigrants in this country who deserve to have a valid driver’s license. Students and other workers who are here for whatever legal reason have a real need for this service.
I may or may not get into the security problems our nation faces by allowing this type of thing to begin. I don't know whether I want to get into it right now in detail, but regardless I think it deserves to be mentioned anyway.
I believe that the more I think about it, and the more I ask “why” a situation can even exist, the more disturbed I am at where “We the people” are headed as a group. We are witnessing the further change of America as we know it.
The “why” here is not simple, nor is it fun to think about. We have rising poverty levels in our country. Even if you don't count natural disasters, and our “War on….(insert enemy here), we are going further and further in debt as a people and as a nation, financially and morally. There was a time when a young American male and eventually female would begin looking for a job at a young age. Why? Because they needed to and because it’s what was expected of them. There was a time when the focus was on making yourself better. Survival was one of the, if not “the” primary way of establishing yourself in the food chain. If you could survive on your own as well provide for your family then you were considered superior to those who could not. This method is pretty simple really.
Somewhere along the line there became more and more ways to be considered “superior.” A variety of things could propel you ahead of your fellow American. Talent, intelligence, understanding, and virtually any other “special” thing began to have a higher social standing. In a world where the majority could be thought of as equal, we looked for ways to feel better than our neighbor. As the ability to communicate grew so did the competition. Humans in general are competitive. Americans foster and use those feelings in a variety of ways. It is one of principal parts of being an American. It crosses all our boundaries of race, and religion. In America someone has to be right. Someone has to be better.
Believe it or not I am still on subject.
Humans evolve through laziness. We are told when we are born that we are better. We are told that we are special. The easiest way to feel better about ourselves is to believe it. The unfortunate side effect of this whole thing is that we came to a point somewhere where we began to believe that we were “too good” to do the things that made us American. Because of this feeling we can allow things like Illegal workers in our country. To be totally honest someone has to do the jobs these people are doing and if we do them we are admitting that we are not that special after all. The lies we tell ourselves are the ones that hurt the most.
This wave of self-denial has allowed us to get to a point in our countries growth where we begin to give away our countries safeguards rather than dig our own ditches. We will turn a blind eye to the safety of our children in order to save them from the disgrace of making their own cheeseburgers. We will send our soldiers to fight for our freedoms so that we can give them away ourselves, to those who are willing to work for them.
Take a brief moment to think of what identification you use most in you life. Think about what other freedoms that little card gives you. Think about how many times you really use stuff like a passport or birth certificate in your daily life to prove you identity.
We tell ourselves that we are great, and that we are better than the rest of our world, but what proof do we have to offer? What is better? Who decides?
I don't think we should allow non documented immigrants the right to drive legally in our country. All of the arguments to allow it to happen can be fought separately in other forums. However my opinion does not matter. Having the right of free speech does not guarantee that I have to right to be listened to regardless of what some would like to make us believe.
These laws will most likely pass. To quote myself: “Humans evolve through laziness.” I really don’t expect to stop any of the things discussed here in any of these posts. I only want to understand why they are happening. That is how I feel better. I feel better than those who don't.
My List of Facts:
Facts:
I discuss here the subtle differences in the meanings of our words and wording. Most often I remind myself of the differences in the words “truth” and “fact”. It is my belief that “truths’ mean different things to different people. Usually to be a “truth,” a leap of faith is needed. There is an untested component within “truth. “Facts” are simpler, and true to all people and things regardless of whatever variable we bring to the equation. Once we add our own rules or speculation to a “fact” we have turned it into a truth.
****Example: I am holding a ball in the air and I let go of the ball. (There is no trick question here so don't try to add more to it.)
Fact: It begins to fall.
Truth: Gravity causes it to fall.
I feel at this time someone somewhere is telling me that gravity is fact. In your mind it might very well be, but we are defining fact here by the terms given above. I am very interested in hearing a description of gravity that has no speculation in it. Also, (This is the most important part here) these are MY definitions not yours. This is my area to come to understand my own “truths”, and my own life. In this area I will be making a list of “facts” as I discover them. I have no idea how often I will be updating it. I could fill it up with easily defendable facts such as “it begins to fall”, but I think I will get more self understanding if I don't start that way. I will attempt to link or otherwise point out where I found my evidence or what line of thinking leads me to decide that it is fact. Also, I think I should date them in order to help me understand some timeline.
1. We do what we must do.
2. Unique does not Equal special.
3. All decisions are based in fear
I discuss here the subtle differences in the meanings of our words and wording. Most often I remind myself of the differences in the words “truth” and “fact”. It is my belief that “truths’ mean different things to different people. Usually to be a “truth,” a leap of faith is needed. There is an untested component within “truth. “Facts” are simpler, and true to all people and things regardless of whatever variable we bring to the equation. Once we add our own rules or speculation to a “fact” we have turned it into a truth.
****Example: I am holding a ball in the air and I let go of the ball. (There is no trick question here so don't try to add more to it.)
Fact: It begins to fall.
Truth: Gravity causes it to fall.
I feel at this time someone somewhere is telling me that gravity is fact. In your mind it might very well be, but we are defining fact here by the terms given above. I am very interested in hearing a description of gravity that has no speculation in it. Also, (This is the most important part here) these are MY definitions not yours. This is my area to come to understand my own “truths”, and my own life. In this area I will be making a list of “facts” as I discover them. I have no idea how often I will be updating it. I could fill it up with easily defendable facts such as “it begins to fall”, but I think I will get more self understanding if I don't start that way. I will attempt to link or otherwise point out where I found my evidence or what line of thinking leads me to decide that it is fact. Also, I think I should date them in order to help me understand some timeline.
1. We do what we must do.
2. Unique does not Equal special.
3. All decisions are based in fear
Monday, December 19, 2005
Who, What, Where, When and Why.
I vaguely remember hearing these words while in High School English as my teacher Mrs. Cunningham whose daughter I was daydreaming about, explained it briefly. Even with my hormone clouded mind, come test time I was able to remember “The five W’s”. They are the absolute basic in journalism, and without them no story is complete.
It is 3:30 EST as I write this and I am just back to my computer from making my tea. As you will be able to tell I have already put up a blog today and although I do at times post twice I had no plans to do so today.
A crashed sea plane off of the coast of Miami has changed my plans however. Although I would like to really tell you more about the story I can’t. For 45 minutes now I have seen live footage from the crash, divers in the water, and I have even seen bodies removed from the water and covered completely to signify that they are dead.
My question is this. When does “breaking news” take precedent over news, and when should you start “breaking” the news? There are 5 W’s to answer before you have a complete story, and I understand the networks need to be the “first” to get a story out, but shouldn’t we at least have 3 of the W’s answered before we talk about it?
***
At 3:45 now I am hearing about “conflicting reports”.
***
Well duh! They are conflicting reports because no one knows WHAT happened and you are putting words in their mouths. Our ability to disseminate the news has so far outreached our ability to generate news.
I am not heartless and I do care about the deaths of my fellow man and I am gladdened to hear about survivors, but I still have to ask how this story affects me in my location. What makes a story not only important enough to be reported on a national level but also important enough to report on before they even know what the story is. Then comes the “real” question. Why have I not changed the channel?
There it is. I always get to a question I don’t like to ask myself and I just found another one.
**
3:55 now coast guard on the news, “taking me through the mind” of the pilots, and the “proper protocol” of handling the dead.
**
I still am not sure why I have not turned it yet, but it might have something to do with this really dramatic Hollywood music. Drama…….. We need it. I need it I guess.
**
4pm now and scheduled show starts…..I guess they did not think it was important enough to interrupt their commercially paid for shows. The new guy says he’ll check back but he has some other stories too. More dramatic music.
**
The news companies do this type of microscopic hit and miss guesswork reporting and then seem surprised when some guy gets a sniper rifle and begins killing strangers just so he can be famous.
**
5:10 and now I know everything about the model of plane that crashed but still nothing really about the crash itself. They tell me more will come later. (Dramatic Music)
**
If you are interested in how this story ends, (the plane crash) I recommend you Google this date and time and maybe “Miami plane crash” or something so you can see how it turns out. Chances are that unless someone is famous or they can definitively prove some scandal, the story will die so good luck
To the families of the people on that plane and the people themselves please accept my condolences for your loss, and I truly hope that you can receive some comfort from your faith, regardless of what that faith may be. At this time my thoughts are with you.
To the news channel I say this:
DRAMATIC MUSIC
News You could be reporting on.
Hold the story till you have a story, there is enough news out there to go around without you making a soap opera out of it.
It is 3:30 EST as I write this and I am just back to my computer from making my tea. As you will be able to tell I have already put up a blog today and although I do at times post twice I had no plans to do so today.
A crashed sea plane off of the coast of Miami has changed my plans however. Although I would like to really tell you more about the story I can’t. For 45 minutes now I have seen live footage from the crash, divers in the water, and I have even seen bodies removed from the water and covered completely to signify that they are dead.
My question is this. When does “breaking news” take precedent over news, and when should you start “breaking” the news? There are 5 W’s to answer before you have a complete story, and I understand the networks need to be the “first” to get a story out, but shouldn’t we at least have 3 of the W’s answered before we talk about it?
***
At 3:45 now I am hearing about “conflicting reports”.
***
Well duh! They are conflicting reports because no one knows WHAT happened and you are putting words in their mouths. Our ability to disseminate the news has so far outreached our ability to generate news.
I am not heartless and I do care about the deaths of my fellow man and I am gladdened to hear about survivors, but I still have to ask how this story affects me in my location. What makes a story not only important enough to be reported on a national level but also important enough to report on before they even know what the story is. Then comes the “real” question. Why have I not changed the channel?
There it is. I always get to a question I don’t like to ask myself and I just found another one.
**
3:55 now coast guard on the news, “taking me through the mind” of the pilots, and the “proper protocol” of handling the dead.
**
I still am not sure why I have not turned it yet, but it might have something to do with this really dramatic Hollywood music. Drama…….. We need it. I need it I guess.
**
4pm now and scheduled show starts…..I guess they did not think it was important enough to interrupt their commercially paid for shows. The new guy says he’ll check back but he has some other stories too. More dramatic music.
**
The news companies do this type of microscopic hit and miss guesswork reporting and then seem surprised when some guy gets a sniper rifle and begins killing strangers just so he can be famous.
**
5:10 and now I know everything about the model of plane that crashed but still nothing really about the crash itself. They tell me more will come later. (Dramatic Music)
**
If you are interested in how this story ends, (the plane crash) I recommend you Google this date and time and maybe “Miami plane crash” or something so you can see how it turns out. Chances are that unless someone is famous or they can definitively prove some scandal, the story will die so good luck
To the families of the people on that plane and the people themselves please accept my condolences for your loss, and I truly hope that you can receive some comfort from your faith, regardless of what that faith may be. At this time my thoughts are with you.
To the news channel I say this:
DRAMATIC MUSIC
News You could be reporting on.
Hold the story till you have a story, there is enough news out there to go around without you making a soap opera out of it.
Definition vs. Meaning
Throughout my life I have spent a lot of time speaking in one fashion or another with people of other countries and other cultures. While going to school for our military to learn another language I came across a problem from an unexpected angle. There came a time when I started knowing too much vocabulary, but not enough definition, or I would learn a definition and not truly know a words meaning. You may have spoken with someone who uses English as a second language and at times might use an English word that works but does not quite fit. I am constantly surprised about what I learn concerning English by trying to explain the differences to them.
I would like to point to some of my other writings here where I have to be reminded on the subtle differences between “truth” and “fact”. I think this is the most understandable example of this problem. The “understood meaning” and the “definitions” of these words do not match up, yet they are often confused. I myself confuse them constantly.
I believe much of our confusion, hate, fear, and desperation as a people is based solely on the willful or accidental misuse of our words. Our failure to come to an agreement on the “understood” meanings of a word, as well as the words definitions keeps us fighting over the little things and does not allow us discover what really matters to us, let alone come to an agreement on or best way to achieve it.
We as a people are greatly influenced by our media. Our Television and our Newspapers are expected to find the truth for us while we are so busy trying to do what it takes to survive here. They can be compared to our government in that we have to trust them because we have no real choice.
****
I am going to try very hard not to talk about money or greed or political views here and simply stick to the “truth” as I see it.
****
We have long criticized our government (with the help of our media) for the use of certain words when speaking to us. Our government stopped using words like “bomb” or “kill” a while ago, replacing them with “neutralize”.
Speech writers and media script writers get paid A LOT of money to choose the “right” word to use regardless of whether it is the “correct” word to use. The “right” word is chosen to get a desired response or emotion from us. The “right” word is chosen because of its “meaning.” “Correct” words are used to most accurately give the “facts.” Everything we see and hear is designed to sway our opinion in one direction or another.
If you have the time or are interested at all here is a fun game to play while watching the news. Try to find where the “right” word was used instead of the “correct” word. Now the really fun part is you really can not be wrong in your choice. What is important is that YOU choose which is “right”. Finding where these optional words can be used is the very first step of forming your own opinion on a subject. It is the first step of finding the “facts” in the middle of all the “truth”. Here are only a couple of examples where you might find some differences between the meanings and the definitions.
Eavesdrop vs. Monitor vs. Spy – These words have been used when discussing American policies concerning public and private conversation recording which according to some is in violation of our rights and protection under the constitution.
Terrorist vs. Freedom Fighter- depends on your point of view. In some parts of the world we are the terrorists.
Insurgent vs. Loyalist – Insurgents come from other countries to fight against outside non-Arab influence in the region. Loyalists are Iraqi Saddam supporters who fight against outside non Arab influence in the region. Both are there.
Freedom of Religion vs. Freedom from Religion
Iraqi’s vs. Iraqi people- One means Iraqi leadership and another means those who have to live by their decisions.
I believe you will find that in many / most / majority of cases concerning any type government presentation you will find that someone wants to explain to us in a “simpler language’. Someone is always willing to explain it to you using their words. Unfortunately, this helps you to understand the teachers views but, now you only have one view of the lesson, and it is not your own. You have been influenced by a second party.
Political Language
Our government at times uses a language that can be (is) confusing. Every word is chosen for a desired effect and an implied or understood meaning. Also, sometimes vague wording can be chosen, allowing them time to clarify their meaning later. Let’s face it, you can not please everyone. Our Government knows it, but they try to at least hide the things that they know will really concern us. (Make us mad.) I believe that rarely our government has “lied” to us. The “truth” however is subjective. Regardless of how we feel about it, they for whatever reason feel that that are doing the right thing. It is not until someone makes an “ethical mistake” do we find an ethical answer. To be totally honest it is not until someone makes a public mistake do many of us even bother to ask the “ethical question.”
Simpler Language
The understood meaning (truth) of the words: “Simpler Language,” when used by the media in this way leads us to believe that the same meaning will be kept but understanding will be made easier for those of us who don’t speak the language of Politics.
The reality (fact) of the words: “Simpler Language,” is that if you change one word, you have changed the meaning of the sentence. There is a fine line between the “meaning” of a statement and the “understood meaning” of a sentence. This is a practice a lot of us have perfected while arguing the meaning of “straighten up your room” as opposed to the understood meaning.
My advice to you is to learn the language of politics so that you might be able to find your own “simpler language”. This is hard and is at times very boring, but in the long run can be very rewarding. Do not let anyone decide your “truths” for you without using the “facts” to do it. You need to try to find the “facts” that are hidden in the “truths”.
Some people do not believe that one word can make such a difference in the workings of a nation. If you are one of these people then I would like to remind you of the study of our founding documents, our religious documents (regardless of religion), and our laws. I would like to ask you how changing one word on a resume might make the difference between your job and your welfare check. (Secretary vs. Clerical assistant)
Freedom is one word. With many understood definitions.
******************************************************
On a personal note the writings here are more reminders and random thoughts meant to help me to get things straight in my own head.
I have noticed that a lot of my writings here are a commentary on our American society. They are the truth as I see them and they are the tools I need to get closer to the facts.
I have spent years working for our government studying the effects of words on the masses. Our soldiers study and are graded on our understanding of how Americans are influenced and how we can be further influenced. It is taught to us to help us to recognize “propaganda” directed against the United States. “War is fought on many battlefields.” (I think I got that from a movie.) Many wars throughout time have been fought, won, lost, or avoided, by choosing the correct words.
www.dictionary.com
Civil War
I would like to point to some of my other writings here where I have to be reminded on the subtle differences between “truth” and “fact”. I think this is the most understandable example of this problem. The “understood meaning” and the “definitions” of these words do not match up, yet they are often confused. I myself confuse them constantly.
I believe much of our confusion, hate, fear, and desperation as a people is based solely on the willful or accidental misuse of our words. Our failure to come to an agreement on the “understood” meanings of a word, as well as the words definitions keeps us fighting over the little things and does not allow us discover what really matters to us, let alone come to an agreement on or best way to achieve it.
We as a people are greatly influenced by our media. Our Television and our Newspapers are expected to find the truth for us while we are so busy trying to do what it takes to survive here. They can be compared to our government in that we have to trust them because we have no real choice.
****
I am going to try very hard not to talk about money or greed or political views here and simply stick to the “truth” as I see it.
****
We have long criticized our government (with the help of our media) for the use of certain words when speaking to us. Our government stopped using words like “bomb” or “kill” a while ago, replacing them with “neutralize”.
Speech writers and media script writers get paid A LOT of money to choose the “right” word to use regardless of whether it is the “correct” word to use. The “right” word is chosen to get a desired response or emotion from us. The “right” word is chosen because of its “meaning.” “Correct” words are used to most accurately give the “facts.” Everything we see and hear is designed to sway our opinion in one direction or another.
If you have the time or are interested at all here is a fun game to play while watching the news. Try to find where the “right” word was used instead of the “correct” word. Now the really fun part is you really can not be wrong in your choice. What is important is that YOU choose which is “right”. Finding where these optional words can be used is the very first step of forming your own opinion on a subject. It is the first step of finding the “facts” in the middle of all the “truth”. Here are only a couple of examples where you might find some differences between the meanings and the definitions.
Eavesdrop vs. Monitor vs. Spy – These words have been used when discussing American policies concerning public and private conversation recording which according to some is in violation of our rights and protection under the constitution.
Terrorist vs. Freedom Fighter- depends on your point of view. In some parts of the world we are the terrorists.
Insurgent vs. Loyalist – Insurgents come from other countries to fight against outside non-Arab influence in the region. Loyalists are Iraqi Saddam supporters who fight against outside non Arab influence in the region. Both are there.
Freedom of Religion vs. Freedom from Religion
Iraqi’s vs. Iraqi people- One means Iraqi leadership and another means those who have to live by their decisions.
I believe you will find that in many / most / majority of cases concerning any type government presentation you will find that someone wants to explain to us in a “simpler language’. Someone is always willing to explain it to you using their words. Unfortunately, this helps you to understand the teachers views but, now you only have one view of the lesson, and it is not your own. You have been influenced by a second party.
Political Language
Our government at times uses a language that can be (is) confusing. Every word is chosen for a desired effect and an implied or understood meaning. Also, sometimes vague wording can be chosen, allowing them time to clarify their meaning later. Let’s face it, you can not please everyone. Our Government knows it, but they try to at least hide the things that they know will really concern us. (Make us mad.) I believe that rarely our government has “lied” to us. The “truth” however is subjective. Regardless of how we feel about it, they for whatever reason feel that that are doing the right thing. It is not until someone makes an “ethical mistake” do we find an ethical answer. To be totally honest it is not until someone makes a public mistake do many of us even bother to ask the “ethical question.”
Simpler Language
The understood meaning (truth) of the words: “Simpler Language,” when used by the media in this way leads us to believe that the same meaning will be kept but understanding will be made easier for those of us who don’t speak the language of Politics.
The reality (fact) of the words: “Simpler Language,” is that if you change one word, you have changed the meaning of the sentence. There is a fine line between the “meaning” of a statement and the “understood meaning” of a sentence. This is a practice a lot of us have perfected while arguing the meaning of “straighten up your room” as opposed to the understood meaning.
My advice to you is to learn the language of politics so that you might be able to find your own “simpler language”. This is hard and is at times very boring, but in the long run can be very rewarding. Do not let anyone decide your “truths” for you without using the “facts” to do it. You need to try to find the “facts” that are hidden in the “truths”.
Some people do not believe that one word can make such a difference in the workings of a nation. If you are one of these people then I would like to remind you of the study of our founding documents, our religious documents (regardless of religion), and our laws. I would like to ask you how changing one word on a resume might make the difference between your job and your welfare check. (Secretary vs. Clerical assistant)
Freedom is one word. With many understood definitions.
******************************************************
On a personal note the writings here are more reminders and random thoughts meant to help me to get things straight in my own head.
I have noticed that a lot of my writings here are a commentary on our American society. They are the truth as I see them and they are the tools I need to get closer to the facts.
I have spent years working for our government studying the effects of words on the masses. Our soldiers study and are graded on our understanding of how Americans are influenced and how we can be further influenced. It is taught to us to help us to recognize “propaganda” directed against the United States. “War is fought on many battlefields.” (I think I got that from a movie.) Many wars throughout time have been fought, won, lost, or avoided, by choosing the correct words.
www.dictionary.com
Civil War
n.
A war between factions or regions of the same country.
A state of hostility or conflict between elements within an organization: “The broadcaster is in the midst of a civil war that has brought it to the brink of a complete management overhaul” (Bill Powell).
Civil War The war in the United States between the Union and the Confederacy from 1861 to 1865. Also called War Between the States.
Civil War The war in England between the Parliamentarians and the Royalists from 1642 to 1648.
In my heart and mind I believe that every day we witness the results of an ongoing Civil War. In this war allies and enemies change everyday based on the subject. Just like in real wars those who control and understand the technology will be the winner.
If I had to pick a winner then I would put my money on the media. They have more freedom to say and do what they want to do. They can spend their money on what they want to and have no oversight. If and when they make a mistake, they can choose not to talk about it. They have more power to use the government against itself. They have fewer rules to follow and therefore have less accountability. By controlling the information that we see and here from the world they have become the defining judge of acceptability.
You don’t have to pick a side because this is something similar to watching the Gods of Olympus throw lightning bolts at each other. No matter who wins, we are mortals who will live our lives day to day.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
NO CHRIST in Christmas?
I am not a Christian. I do not believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins, nor do I believe that asking for forgiveness from an almighty super power will get me into heaven. I believe that I as an American citizen have the rights to worship how I see fit without the opinions of any other American affecting me.
Christmas is a Christian holiday to be celebrated by Christians in their way.
Christians are taught to love everyone. ( I am not saying that they do, I am saying that’s what they are taught.) They are taught that anyone that is not Christian will burn in some sort of hellfire. They are taught that it is there duty to “save” us from ourselves. It is their belief. It is their truth. It is their doctrine. It is as much of a duty to them as is facing East for Muslims and Kosher foods for Hebrews.
If we refuse to allow the word “Christmas” in the Holiday Season then we are in fact not allowing Christians to worship as is their right under the laws of the United States. If we tell them they are “not allowed” to try to convert us then we are not allowing them to worship as is their right. I know it seems silly, but facts are facts. If we want to claim our rights to religious belief then had best be prepared to allow others the same right.
I am going to say again here that I am not a Christian. My religion is in no way Judaic or Hebrew it its basis and in no way do I worship a supreme or all knowing power. As a veteran in our military I will tell you now that the vast majority of the soldiers dieing to defend our rights are in fact Christian in their beliefs, and I am ashamed of any of us who can not let them call their holiday whatever they want to.
I have seen it all now. I have seen a time when we actually have a chance to show the Christians what tolerance can be, and instead we are just going give them a swift kick and try to take away the name of the holiday as well.
Isn’t it enough that over the years we have slowly stripped away the belief behind the holiday? We have to take the name too? We turned Jesus into Santa. We turned the belief of resurrection into an Egg laying Rabbit. Christians are responsible for many historically saddening events. Only the Romans before them can claim any equality when it comes absorbing religions. It saddens me to see how we “the enlightened” religions are going out of our way to emulate our “oppressors”.
This is one more step towards insuring that we can never be a tolerant people. I beg of you this season and every season of every year to remember that our goal is equality not revenge.
Merry Christmas and a happy 364 others days.
Christmas is a Christian holiday to be celebrated by Christians in their way.
Christians are taught to love everyone. ( I am not saying that they do, I am saying that’s what they are taught.) They are taught that anyone that is not Christian will burn in some sort of hellfire. They are taught that it is there duty to “save” us from ourselves. It is their belief. It is their truth. It is their doctrine. It is as much of a duty to them as is facing East for Muslims and Kosher foods for Hebrews.
If we refuse to allow the word “Christmas” in the Holiday Season then we are in fact not allowing Christians to worship as is their right under the laws of the United States. If we tell them they are “not allowed” to try to convert us then we are not allowing them to worship as is their right. I know it seems silly, but facts are facts. If we want to claim our rights to religious belief then had best be prepared to allow others the same right.
I am going to say again here that I am not a Christian. My religion is in no way Judaic or Hebrew it its basis and in no way do I worship a supreme or all knowing power. As a veteran in our military I will tell you now that the vast majority of the soldiers dieing to defend our rights are in fact Christian in their beliefs, and I am ashamed of any of us who can not let them call their holiday whatever they want to.
I have seen it all now. I have seen a time when we actually have a chance to show the Christians what tolerance can be, and instead we are just going give them a swift kick and try to take away the name of the holiday as well.
Isn’t it enough that over the years we have slowly stripped away the belief behind the holiday? We have to take the name too? We turned Jesus into Santa. We turned the belief of resurrection into an Egg laying Rabbit. Christians are responsible for many historically saddening events. Only the Romans before them can claim any equality when it comes absorbing religions. It saddens me to see how we “the enlightened” religions are going out of our way to emulate our “oppressors”.
This is one more step towards insuring that we can never be a tolerant people. I beg of you this season and every season of every year to remember that our goal is equality not revenge.
Merry Christmas and a happy 364 others days.
Angry and Desperate! ME?
A friend of mine wrote me recently after having read the things that I have posted here and told me that I am a different person here than I am in real life. Here I am “full of anger and desperation”.
I hope that the casual reader here, if there is any…lol does not get the idea that I am a person who has no hope about the world. Quite the contrary I like to think that all things considered I am a happy guy.
I use this area more as a way to think through things that are happening in my life and in our world, and yes some if not most of these things are negative things, but by understanding what makes me angry and desperate I come closer to understanding what really makes me happy and fulfilled. It’s a fact of human nature that we do not appreciate a warm summer breeze until we have spent the winter curled under blankets on an air mattress because we can afford neither a bed nor heat.
Here I can begin to purge myself.
As a people we as humans can not, and will not appreciate the good things in our lives until we can understand the true reasons behind the things that make us sad. I am not saying that the things I have here are the complete picture describing the basis for the evils in the world, or even the evils in my personal world, but they are a lot closer then the lies we tell ourselves daily. They are definitely closer to the truth than we allow others to tell us daily.
I write these things here rather than in a private journal because quite frankly I do not trust myself to be honest to myself. I want happiness but I want it because I earned it and not because someone sold me a cheap substitute. When left to my own thoughts I can be diverted away from the facts quite easily. When I put my thoughts here I feel pressured to find a reasonable answer that goes beyond something we can be told on television. There is not a high chance that anyone is ever going to read these posts that I have made, but still the possibility is enough to make me want to think these things through. Here if I lie to myself about these personal matters someone might call me on it.
When talking about politics or my divorces, or my feelings on my children or religion or (insert subject here) it is so easy for me to just feel sorry for myself like so many do and say “I am right”, regardless of what I know to be fact.
*****
A friend pointed out to me once that truth and fact are not the same and if I treat them the same I will continue to be confused.
*****
When we are making decisions about our lives we tend to use only the facts that are convenient to us at the time rather than constantly use all the knowledge we have. This is how we create our own truths. We’re lazy. Here with the possible judgment of strangers looming over me I am forced to prove myself, by explaining why. Knowing that this might pass in front of other eyes makes me think outside myself and be more of a balanced judge of my own emotions and reactions. I have to work to try to understand why. Like a child wondering about the color of the sky, one “why” should never be enough. At what age do we start telling our children that they need to just accept the first answer we give them? At what age were we told, and WHY were we told?
You see like that child one “why” is never enough because there is always another “why” waiting.
The things I have here are not “all” written out of anger. Granted, frustration is a driving factor behind some of my views, but once I come to terms with something I can not change than I am more likely to accept it for what it is and move on. I am not “angry” that the sky is blue, but I am “desperate” to know why.
If in passing I either answer someone’s “why”, cause them to ask “why” for themselves, or at a minimum make them rethink something they have already made a decision on then all the better.
I really don’t want to change anyone’s opinion on any subject, but I want everyone to realize “why” you have the opinions you have. Make sure it’s yours and not one you have borrowed.
I hope that the casual reader here, if there is any…lol does not get the idea that I am a person who has no hope about the world. Quite the contrary I like to think that all things considered I am a happy guy.
I use this area more as a way to think through things that are happening in my life and in our world, and yes some if not most of these things are negative things, but by understanding what makes me angry and desperate I come closer to understanding what really makes me happy and fulfilled. It’s a fact of human nature that we do not appreciate a warm summer breeze until we have spent the winter curled under blankets on an air mattress because we can afford neither a bed nor heat.
Here I can begin to purge myself.
As a people we as humans can not, and will not appreciate the good things in our lives until we can understand the true reasons behind the things that make us sad. I am not saying that the things I have here are the complete picture describing the basis for the evils in the world, or even the evils in my personal world, but they are a lot closer then the lies we tell ourselves daily. They are definitely closer to the truth than we allow others to tell us daily.
I write these things here rather than in a private journal because quite frankly I do not trust myself to be honest to myself. I want happiness but I want it because I earned it and not because someone sold me a cheap substitute. When left to my own thoughts I can be diverted away from the facts quite easily. When I put my thoughts here I feel pressured to find a reasonable answer that goes beyond something we can be told on television. There is not a high chance that anyone is ever going to read these posts that I have made, but still the possibility is enough to make me want to think these things through. Here if I lie to myself about these personal matters someone might call me on it.
When talking about politics or my divorces, or my feelings on my children or religion or (insert subject here) it is so easy for me to just feel sorry for myself like so many do and say “I am right”, regardless of what I know to be fact.
*****
A friend pointed out to me once that truth and fact are not the same and if I treat them the same I will continue to be confused.
*****
When we are making decisions about our lives we tend to use only the facts that are convenient to us at the time rather than constantly use all the knowledge we have. This is how we create our own truths. We’re lazy. Here with the possible judgment of strangers looming over me I am forced to prove myself, by explaining why. Knowing that this might pass in front of other eyes makes me think outside myself and be more of a balanced judge of my own emotions and reactions. I have to work to try to understand why. Like a child wondering about the color of the sky, one “why” should never be enough. At what age do we start telling our children that they need to just accept the first answer we give them? At what age were we told, and WHY were we told?
You see like that child one “why” is never enough because there is always another “why” waiting.
The things I have here are not “all” written out of anger. Granted, frustration is a driving factor behind some of my views, but once I come to terms with something I can not change than I am more likely to accept it for what it is and move on. I am not “angry” that the sky is blue, but I am “desperate” to know why.
If in passing I either answer someone’s “why”, cause them to ask “why” for themselves, or at a minimum make them rethink something they have already made a decision on then all the better.
I really don’t want to change anyone’s opinion on any subject, but I want everyone to realize “why” you have the opinions you have. Make sure it’s yours and not one you have borrowed.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Senate Rejects Extension of Patriot Act
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051216/ap_on_go_co/patriot_act
No good can come from this. I don’t fear so much that we need the patriot act. In all truthfulness I don’t believe there is actually a way to measure its usefulness. I think government policies that work are the first to go. If they “solve” the problem then people quickly forget there was a problem. Maybe we do need it then.... who knows? Politically however how sweet would it be for the Republicans if a terrorist attack were to happen after January 1st. I find myself wondering if I trust them enough to think that they would not turn there eyes from a “small” one. Small but highly televised.
I hate to say it but yes it is possible. I am going to post this now simply so I can stand by opinion and if it does happen I have a reference to point back to.
I hope I am wrong, but really the odds are in my favor. I mean as much cocaine comes in this country everyday it’s not hard to think of the same amount of other white powders could be making it in. I am also pretty sure that “terrorists” can run equally well as illegal immigrants who make it in everyday. If you were to do your research you would quickly find that the main wording that has the critics in an uproar is the specifics concerning methods needed to track a "lone wolf" terrorist. If we try to think of how “secure” our country is in concert with how some people in the world think about us it’s really quite surprising that we are not hit more often.
If you think of the Oklahoma City Bombing of 1995, a little fertilizer can make all the difference in the world. Who needs nitro?
The good news is (if it can be considered good news) right now the “terrorists” want us to bring our soldiers home as bad as we want them to come home. There are a few putting up a show in their neighborhoods wanting mainly to show that they are willing to fight the evil infidels. (They are fighting their propaganda the same as we fight ours.)
Our President has proven definitively that he and his administration have the power to bring the United States military machine to bear regardless of what “We the People” think. Also “We the People” should give ourselves a hand as well. We have proven that we’ll do most anything if you make us mad enough. Finally lets not forget the United States Media who is so good at making us mad. We have a well oiled machine when someone “justifies” us.
No good can come from this. I don’t fear so much that we need the patriot act. In all truthfulness I don’t believe there is actually a way to measure its usefulness. I think government policies that work are the first to go. If they “solve” the problem then people quickly forget there was a problem. Maybe we do need it then.... who knows? Politically however how sweet would it be for the Republicans if a terrorist attack were to happen after January 1st. I find myself wondering if I trust them enough to think that they would not turn there eyes from a “small” one. Small but highly televised.
I hate to say it but yes it is possible. I am going to post this now simply so I can stand by opinion and if it does happen I have a reference to point back to.
I hope I am wrong, but really the odds are in my favor. I mean as much cocaine comes in this country everyday it’s not hard to think of the same amount of other white powders could be making it in. I am also pretty sure that “terrorists” can run equally well as illegal immigrants who make it in everyday. If you were to do your research you would quickly find that the main wording that has the critics in an uproar is the specifics concerning methods needed to track a "lone wolf" terrorist. If we try to think of how “secure” our country is in concert with how some people in the world think about us it’s really quite surprising that we are not hit more often.
If you think of the Oklahoma City Bombing of 1995, a little fertilizer can make all the difference in the world. Who needs nitro?
The good news is (if it can be considered good news) right now the “terrorists” want us to bring our soldiers home as bad as we want them to come home. There are a few putting up a show in their neighborhoods wanting mainly to show that they are willing to fight the evil infidels. (They are fighting their propaganda the same as we fight ours.)
Our President has proven definitively that he and his administration have the power to bring the United States military machine to bear regardless of what “We the People” think. Also “We the People” should give ourselves a hand as well. We have proven that we’ll do most anything if you make us mad enough. Finally lets not forget the United States Media who is so good at making us mad. We have a well oiled machine when someone “justifies” us.
Why do other countries hate us?
I am sure most of you know that we as a country and a people are not thought of very highly by the rest of the world’s citizens. “Hate” may be a strong word in SOME cases but definitely not all. Our government tells us that other countries are mad at our way of life, and in SOME cases this is true, but not all.
There is not any one reason why we are looked at the way we are. Like everything else in life a combination of things, big and small come together to form opinions.
During my time in our military I qualified for particular jobs and schooling that allowed me to travel the world a little more than the average soldier my pay grade. I will not get into all the specifics of my occupation here. I will do what I can to write these things here as I see them now and I have seen them during my times in other countries.
#####
I think the most important step here is not to let our media and our government, confuse us about the difference between a country and a country’s people.
#####
When our media flashes professors and film clips telling us that the people of another country can’t understand why were hurting them, because they don’t have anything against us as a people, they are absolutely right. When our government tell us that another country is against and is at war with our way of life and basic beliefs……..THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Most people don’t take the time to learn the differences in definitions here. Because most stories are equally true, both sides are able to find ample “proof” and “evidence” to support there desires. Our media always wins because our media always gets the last word. If you ask enough people the same question eventually you’ll get the answer your looking for.
#####
“A country” when discussed here is defined by as the ruling body of the country.
I will make every attempt to use “a country’s people” when talking about opinions of the masses. Even my headline here can be misleading.
#####
On the average the people of the world believe that we are a powerful, loud arrogant group of people who are in ways “spoiled” like children. We insist on having our own way and will throw a tantrum if we don’t get it. We are dangerous, and in general a scary group of individuals. The governments of other countries feel in generally the same way about our government, and therefore our country.
#####
I could and most likely will write A LOT concerning our own propaganda campaigns, but for now let’s just say that we sold ourselves hard on the lie.
#####
I was once told that there are two ways to meet a United States Soldier. In a bar yelling at a girl from your country or giving you first aid after shooting you. I told this story to a fellow soldier once and he said he would only give first-aid if there was a news camera there.
If I were able to write in a dramatic pause here I would.
Our soldiers are trained to kill and die. All the education in whatever field you’re in is only to support one of those two goals. Soldiers in their hearts know this. It’s not something we tell our parents or family members. We don’t even admit it to ourselves most times. We hide it under layer and layer of a persona that can not die. Our military helps us to build this persona with weeks of training and then years of “brainwashing”. (yeah I said brainwashing) It’s called confidence and if taken in too large of a dose it can have a side effect similar to steroids.
Most of our people only have knowledge of other countries from popular media, or by whatever slant our government is currently projecting. Please remember that other countries people can only form there opinions of us by their popular media and whatever slants their government is projecting us as. America however also has our soldiers all over the world representing us, our culture, and our beliefs. Do you think that a person who is not allowed to define his own enemy, a person who is at their heart afraid to embrace a culture that he believes he may be ordered to destroy is a good representative of the “people” of our country? Are they a good representative of you?
How would you act to a people you "have to" kill? I say "have to" because not doing so when ordered to is called "treason". Not doing so can and likely will cause your friend next to you to die. He is thinking the same about you and that is the only reason he is killing. These are questions you don’t like to ask yourself. BTW many of these soldiers did not have another option so take whatever hypothetical “I would not allow myself to be in that situation.” scenario you are telling yourself and try to suppress it long enough to get to the truth. Take everything else out of your mind and put yourself defending your "family". It does not matter that the person across the road does not “want” to kill you. What matters is that he is trying to. Once you pass over words like “terror”, “shame”, and “duty”, I think "emotionally distant" from the "enemy" could be considered an accurate description of how you would feel. What lies would you tell yourself and, what would you come to believe in order to get though each day? What kind of person would you become? Would that person be a good representative of us as a country?
#####
Stick with me I am getting to the point
#####
This is a case where we as a people are being judged because of the “views” of our government, as well as the image our government wants and needs to portray. It is the job of our government to protect us and “keep” us strong. This is not only done by maintaining a strong “confident” military but portraying an incredibly strong image to the world. In every playground in the world there is a person who at one level or another understands the need to maintain a strong image so that they can keep getting that lunch money. Most of us know that if we “stand-up” to the bully he will back down. The ones you fear the most from your childhood are the ones that beat you down for trying. A bully can get YEARS of respect from one good playground thrashing. Unfortunately, that is the system our government is trapped in. “We the people” feel that we are past that and that we have somehow evolved beyond it, and I like to think that in our hearts we have. Unfortunately we are not alone in the playground. The world hates and fears us because our government needs them too. We need them to fear us on some level. The fear alone is enough to stop the fight.
Other countries hate us because we need them too. The illusion of our strength is the only thing that keeps us ahead in the game. When the bully shows weakness another bully steps up to take his place. Peace though peaceful means is not an option. I wish it were but its not. We are caught in a runaway lie that we can not admit to, and their hate and fear has gotten us this far.
##################
More speculation follows
Fear will always stop us. The definition of peace and peacefulness involve the right to believe what someone wants to, in a way that someone wants to. As long as any two belief systems differ in that definition, peace can not be achieved. The two politically and militarily strong belief systems on our planet have advocated the killing of others in the name of “conversion”.
There is not any one reason why we are looked at the way we are. Like everything else in life a combination of things, big and small come together to form opinions.
During my time in our military I qualified for particular jobs and schooling that allowed me to travel the world a little more than the average soldier my pay grade. I will not get into all the specifics of my occupation here. I will do what I can to write these things here as I see them now and I have seen them during my times in other countries.
#####
I think the most important step here is not to let our media and our government, confuse us about the difference between a country and a country’s people.
#####
When our media flashes professors and film clips telling us that the people of another country can’t understand why were hurting them, because they don’t have anything against us as a people, they are absolutely right. When our government tell us that another country is against and is at war with our way of life and basic beliefs……..THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Most people don’t take the time to learn the differences in definitions here. Because most stories are equally true, both sides are able to find ample “proof” and “evidence” to support there desires. Our media always wins because our media always gets the last word. If you ask enough people the same question eventually you’ll get the answer your looking for.
#####
“A country” when discussed here is defined by as the ruling body of the country.
I will make every attempt to use “a country’s people” when talking about opinions of the masses. Even my headline here can be misleading.
#####
On the average the people of the world believe that we are a powerful, loud arrogant group of people who are in ways “spoiled” like children. We insist on having our own way and will throw a tantrum if we don’t get it. We are dangerous, and in general a scary group of individuals. The governments of other countries feel in generally the same way about our government, and therefore our country.
#####
I could and most likely will write A LOT concerning our own propaganda campaigns, but for now let’s just say that we sold ourselves hard on the lie.
#####
I was once told that there are two ways to meet a United States Soldier. In a bar yelling at a girl from your country or giving you first aid after shooting you. I told this story to a fellow soldier once and he said he would only give first-aid if there was a news camera there.
If I were able to write in a dramatic pause here I would.
Our soldiers are trained to kill and die. All the education in whatever field you’re in is only to support one of those two goals. Soldiers in their hearts know this. It’s not something we tell our parents or family members. We don’t even admit it to ourselves most times. We hide it under layer and layer of a persona that can not die. Our military helps us to build this persona with weeks of training and then years of “brainwashing”. (yeah I said brainwashing) It’s called confidence and if taken in too large of a dose it can have a side effect similar to steroids.
Most of our people only have knowledge of other countries from popular media, or by whatever slant our government is currently projecting. Please remember that other countries people can only form there opinions of us by their popular media and whatever slants their government is projecting us as. America however also has our soldiers all over the world representing us, our culture, and our beliefs. Do you think that a person who is not allowed to define his own enemy, a person who is at their heart afraid to embrace a culture that he believes he may be ordered to destroy is a good representative of the “people” of our country? Are they a good representative of you?
How would you act to a people you "have to" kill? I say "have to" because not doing so when ordered to is called "treason". Not doing so can and likely will cause your friend next to you to die. He is thinking the same about you and that is the only reason he is killing. These are questions you don’t like to ask yourself. BTW many of these soldiers did not have another option so take whatever hypothetical “I would not allow myself to be in that situation.” scenario you are telling yourself and try to suppress it long enough to get to the truth. Take everything else out of your mind and put yourself defending your "family". It does not matter that the person across the road does not “want” to kill you. What matters is that he is trying to. Once you pass over words like “terror”, “shame”, and “duty”, I think "emotionally distant" from the "enemy" could be considered an accurate description of how you would feel. What lies would you tell yourself and, what would you come to believe in order to get though each day? What kind of person would you become? Would that person be a good representative of us as a country?
#####
Stick with me I am getting to the point
#####
This is a case where we as a people are being judged because of the “views” of our government, as well as the image our government wants and needs to portray. It is the job of our government to protect us and “keep” us strong. This is not only done by maintaining a strong “confident” military but portraying an incredibly strong image to the world. In every playground in the world there is a person who at one level or another understands the need to maintain a strong image so that they can keep getting that lunch money. Most of us know that if we “stand-up” to the bully he will back down. The ones you fear the most from your childhood are the ones that beat you down for trying. A bully can get YEARS of respect from one good playground thrashing. Unfortunately, that is the system our government is trapped in. “We the people” feel that we are past that and that we have somehow evolved beyond it, and I like to think that in our hearts we have. Unfortunately we are not alone in the playground. The world hates and fears us because our government needs them too. We need them to fear us on some level. The fear alone is enough to stop the fight.
Other countries hate us because we need them too. The illusion of our strength is the only thing that keeps us ahead in the game. When the bully shows weakness another bully steps up to take his place. Peace though peaceful means is not an option. I wish it were but its not. We are caught in a runaway lie that we can not admit to, and their hate and fear has gotten us this far.
##################
More speculation follows
Fear will always stop us. The definition of peace and peacefulness involve the right to believe what someone wants to, in a way that someone wants to. As long as any two belief systems differ in that definition, peace can not be achieved. The two politically and militarily strong belief systems on our planet have advocated the killing of others in the name of “conversion”.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Inside the mind of a Dead-Beat Dad
We as men in America are not given the option to be bad humans. We are defined not by our ability to give or receive love but by our ability to provide for the ones we love. I am twice divorced and have two lovely daughters, who I worship.
Health issues have not exactly allowed me to live the life I would have liked to live. Because of that I have never been able to help with the lives of my daughters after my divorces. I have barely been able to survive myself, and I would not have survived had it not been for the charity of others.
These are things that I “know” are not my fault but I can not properly describe the shame I have when I think about it. I “should” be able to do more, but every plan seems to crap out. Geography does not allow me to visit and if I were to visit I can literally do nothing. Both girls are at an age where it is hard to understand.
This year I would maybe be able to see my second daughter at Christmas. To do this I would have to borrow a car, drive illegally risking jail time because I have no license or insurance. I was told in a reply email that my daughter had “moved on”. Then I was told how much she cries when I can’t stay. I was not told to “stay away”, but the letter was definitely angled to let me know exactly how it would end up being a burden on my daughter and my ex-wife’s new family.
I don’t understand what I am supposed to do. I don’t know which way makes me the worst father. I feel like visiting disturbs her life and makes her sad. I feel like trying to visit her makes me a bad father because I have nothing to offer her other than a hug. In one hand I miss her with all my heart and cry when I think that I can not hold her, but in the another part of brain says that if I love her I will let her “move on”.
Can a 7 year old “move on”? Am I paranoid to think that she was given a little help by her mother in which direction she should move?
I am in a good relationship now, with someone who has made me very happy. She understands my limitations, but always pushes me to keep trying. There is not a lot of money available for anything other than utilities and this internet connection which we use for communication. Things don’t look as dark in my life as they used too. I feel like if I could be a small part of my daughters’ life then I might be able to be happy about myself and my life. Should I wait?
I am quite sure that there are some real asshole Dads out there, but I don’t feel that my income and health should be a factor.
I am equally sure that not all people considered to be bad fathers are bad fathers. I believe it’s another example our world changing without our definitions changing. Our world is judged in black and white, unfortunately all of the gray is shoved into the black area. To make it worse it’s NOT SOCIETY that is judging us. It is WE THE DADS who is our own worst critics. Many of us are so ashamed that we can not give our children the life we swore that we would give them when we watched them being born. We want so much for our children to be happy that we wonder if that is possible if we are part of there lives.
If all things could be grouped in the realms of love and hate, then it very possible that the only thing stronger than a parents love for their child is the Hate they feel for themselves when they think about how they have failed her.
By stepping away, have I failed her again?
Health issues have not exactly allowed me to live the life I would have liked to live. Because of that I have never been able to help with the lives of my daughters after my divorces. I have barely been able to survive myself, and I would not have survived had it not been for the charity of others.
These are things that I “know” are not my fault but I can not properly describe the shame I have when I think about it. I “should” be able to do more, but every plan seems to crap out. Geography does not allow me to visit and if I were to visit I can literally do nothing. Both girls are at an age where it is hard to understand.
This year I would maybe be able to see my second daughter at Christmas. To do this I would have to borrow a car, drive illegally risking jail time because I have no license or insurance. I was told in a reply email that my daughter had “moved on”. Then I was told how much she cries when I can’t stay. I was not told to “stay away”, but the letter was definitely angled to let me know exactly how it would end up being a burden on my daughter and my ex-wife’s new family.
I don’t understand what I am supposed to do. I don’t know which way makes me the worst father. I feel like visiting disturbs her life and makes her sad. I feel like trying to visit her makes me a bad father because I have nothing to offer her other than a hug. In one hand I miss her with all my heart and cry when I think that I can not hold her, but in the another part of brain says that if I love her I will let her “move on”.
Can a 7 year old “move on”? Am I paranoid to think that she was given a little help by her mother in which direction she should move?
I am in a good relationship now, with someone who has made me very happy. She understands my limitations, but always pushes me to keep trying. There is not a lot of money available for anything other than utilities and this internet connection which we use for communication. Things don’t look as dark in my life as they used too. I feel like if I could be a small part of my daughters’ life then I might be able to be happy about myself and my life. Should I wait?
I am quite sure that there are some real asshole Dads out there, but I don’t feel that my income and health should be a factor.
I am equally sure that not all people considered to be bad fathers are bad fathers. I believe it’s another example our world changing without our definitions changing. Our world is judged in black and white, unfortunately all of the gray is shoved into the black area. To make it worse it’s NOT SOCIETY that is judging us. It is WE THE DADS who is our own worst critics. Many of us are so ashamed that we can not give our children the life we swore that we would give them when we watched them being born. We want so much for our children to be happy that we wonder if that is possible if we are part of there lives.
If all things could be grouped in the realms of love and hate, then it very possible that the only thing stronger than a parents love for their child is the Hate they feel for themselves when they think about how they have failed her.
By stepping away, have I failed her again?
Why make our weaknesses public?
Good morning!
It is December 15th at about 7am EST and I have read the news and had some thoughts. The news I was reading to be specific is
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/12/15/MNGADG892M1.DTL
It’s a Google news link concerning our (Americas) torture policies. It is specifically concerning the "War on Terror".
When I was a kid I did not know that my grandmother was not allowed to "beat" me till I was "black and blue". Often I was told that if I was found in the pantry again that would be the punishment of the day. Although my Grandmother was not a saint, she never beat me. Still the threat was enough to keep me out. Later in life thanks to the "help" of my teachers I was educated as to what a parent could and could not do to a child. At this point I went home and educated the adults in my life. I never had a problem getting in that pantry again.
The first step in winning a game or war or argument or anything is to understand the limitations and strengths of your enemy. Another step is controlling the information so that your enemy can not do the same to you:
"All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him."- Sun Tzu, the Art of War
Being a veteran I understand a need to insure that we as human beings do not lose our humanity by finding excuses to strip others of their own. I believe most if not all soldiers know and understand that we will give more humanity than we will receive.
However, what I don’t understand is how we can expect to defend our future when we loudly acclaim our limitations to the world. Even if we make the law and we make the rules, and we enforce them amongst ourselves, why give the world yet ANOTHER tool to use against us.
Well...one possible answer is one you will read many times in the future here, or hear many times if you were to b around me. It’s the obvious answer. They really don’t care.
The world is becoming a place of "tolerance" and "understanding". A world if you don't like the laws and you have enough money then you can move to a country that’s a little more your speed. A world where commercial air time costs rise and fall based on death toll. A world where video games teach our young methods of war. A world where our politicians and media would rather insure their own place in history, than make sure we have a history at all.
Our American values are taught to us in a manner that makes us believe that if others do not KNOW we did good, then we might as well not do good. We as Americans need to be public about our lives, but do we need to be public about our limitations?
Like children getting into the pantry sometimes it is the fear of the beating that will stop you.
In the is age of "understanding" nobody seems to be ready to admit that it is human nature to enforce your way of life on others. Your views, your policies will always be a subject to disagree about. The strong will force upon the weak, and the weak will fight back and/or evolve. This is a fact of life that WILL NOT CHANGE. Any event to argue it with me only begins to prove it as true. Up until recently we have been doing the enforcing. How would you or your children feel if the situation were to be reversed? Would you like to be an Iraqi woman right now?
Do you believe in your heart that if the situation were reversed then we would be treated differently? Do you think all will be forgotten? Do you think they will "forget" that anyone not of their beliefs is "the enemy"?
I don’t need an answer here but you need to answer yourself where you are.
Unfortunately the need to keep the people informed is more important than the need to keep the people alive. That seems to be the answer to the question above.
Teach your children tolerance, but don’t take for granted that others are doing the same.
##########
December 20th 2005
Since writing these thoughts down our President has addressed the nation concerning among other things the issues stated above. He stated how we give our enemies information when we speak publicly about these issues. Specifically sighted how American press releasing the details of our tracking of Usama Bin Laden gave our enemies the information needed to change their methods. In interviews afterwards while the “experts” discussed the statements no one would discuss the security issues problem. I would be interested in the location of any information concerning this subject. If you find any either pro or con please leave that link in the comments here. Thank you.
It is December 15th at about 7am EST and I have read the news and had some thoughts. The news I was reading to be specific is
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/12/15/MNGADG892M1.DTL
It’s a Google news link concerning our (Americas) torture policies. It is specifically concerning the "War on Terror".
When I was a kid I did not know that my grandmother was not allowed to "beat" me till I was "black and blue". Often I was told that if I was found in the pantry again that would be the punishment of the day. Although my Grandmother was not a saint, she never beat me. Still the threat was enough to keep me out. Later in life thanks to the "help" of my teachers I was educated as to what a parent could and could not do to a child. At this point I went home and educated the adults in my life. I never had a problem getting in that pantry again.
The first step in winning a game or war or argument or anything is to understand the limitations and strengths of your enemy. Another step is controlling the information so that your enemy can not do the same to you:
"All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him."- Sun Tzu, the Art of War
Being a veteran I understand a need to insure that we as human beings do not lose our humanity by finding excuses to strip others of their own. I believe most if not all soldiers know and understand that we will give more humanity than we will receive.
However, what I don’t understand is how we can expect to defend our future when we loudly acclaim our limitations to the world. Even if we make the law and we make the rules, and we enforce them amongst ourselves, why give the world yet ANOTHER tool to use against us.
Well...one possible answer is one you will read many times in the future here, or hear many times if you were to b around me. It’s the obvious answer. They really don’t care.
The world is becoming a place of "tolerance" and "understanding". A world if you don't like the laws and you have enough money then you can move to a country that’s a little more your speed. A world where commercial air time costs rise and fall based on death toll. A world where video games teach our young methods of war. A world where our politicians and media would rather insure their own place in history, than make sure we have a history at all.
Our American values are taught to us in a manner that makes us believe that if others do not KNOW we did good, then we might as well not do good. We as Americans need to be public about our lives, but do we need to be public about our limitations?
Like children getting into the pantry sometimes it is the fear of the beating that will stop you.
In the is age of "understanding" nobody seems to be ready to admit that it is human nature to enforce your way of life on others. Your views, your policies will always be a subject to disagree about. The strong will force upon the weak, and the weak will fight back and/or evolve. This is a fact of life that WILL NOT CHANGE. Any event to argue it with me only begins to prove it as true. Up until recently we have been doing the enforcing. How would you or your children feel if the situation were to be reversed? Would you like to be an Iraqi woman right now?
Do you believe in your heart that if the situation were reversed then we would be treated differently? Do you think all will be forgotten? Do you think they will "forget" that anyone not of their beliefs is "the enemy"?
I don’t need an answer here but you need to answer yourself where you are.
Unfortunately the need to keep the people informed is more important than the need to keep the people alive. That seems to be the answer to the question above.
Teach your children tolerance, but don’t take for granted that others are doing the same.
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December 20th 2005
Since writing these thoughts down our President has addressed the nation concerning among other things the issues stated above. He stated how we give our enemies information when we speak publicly about these issues. Specifically sighted how American press releasing the details of our tracking of Usama Bin Laden gave our enemies the information needed to change their methods. In interviews afterwards while the “experts” discussed the statements no one would discuss the security issues problem. I would be interested in the location of any information concerning this subject. If you find any either pro or con please leave that link in the comments here. Thank you.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Back for more
Well I am undecided as of yet whether or not this is going to work for me. After my last post (lol only about an hour ago) I walked away from my keyboard feeling a little better. Then stupid me I came back and read it.
...
I got headphones the other day. Nice ones with the noise reduction. They were given to me like an early Christmas present. My old music sounds like new music. Kind of makes it hard to type.
...
Ok the reason reading my post was a bad idea is because it promotes a feeling of hopelessness. I mean, I have always tried to just accept the things that I know that I can not change. It seems pointless to try to complain about the obvious. LOL One the of things I like to complain about most is that people do that!
Asking "why" here leads to more questions than I care to attempt to type. I think I will settle for justifying my impulse by answering the question..."Why is it ok to complain about these things but not the others?"
Well....I dont know!
It just seems like most of the stuff I complain about has a way to be fixed. Granted, although my answers are possible they are in most cases implausable. Which is to say it could be done, but no one will do it.
*******************************
Example: I have a disease. There is no cure known to science at this time. Treatments are designed to lessen the pain but nothing can be done to cure it. I am not happy about the situation but its not something I tend to complain about. I lost that Lotto.
HOWEVER!! I can complain about losses of paperwork and changes in government policies that mean that I can not even recieve the treatments listed above. I CAN complain that because I dont fall into what is an outdated definition of a "minority", I can not get the same help that someone able to get pregnant can get.
*******************************
I know these words sound bitter, and I want to make myself clear that I am in no way mad at those who are able to get help in their lives. I am not mad at those who need to and do use the system, I am mad at the system that wont allow for a truly raceless, genderless standard.
Fixable? YES! National health care may very well be coming, and in that we may see our young lawmakers of all races and religions put away their grandfathers hates and fears long enough to see that our world HAS changed and our laws and government need to reflect those changes.
Plausable? NO Not as long as you need to wear a $400.00 suit to be accepted as a lawmaker in this country. As long as the first step to solving a problem is emulating the people who created the problem we can go no where.
I think these small differences in perspective are the only things I have to allow myself permission to bitch about the world.
If you think about it I am sure you can see why.
I need to get something together for dinner. I will be back later.
...
I got headphones the other day. Nice ones with the noise reduction. They were given to me like an early Christmas present. My old music sounds like new music. Kind of makes it hard to type.
...
Ok the reason reading my post was a bad idea is because it promotes a feeling of hopelessness. I mean, I have always tried to just accept the things that I know that I can not change. It seems pointless to try to complain about the obvious. LOL One the of things I like to complain about most is that people do that!
Asking "why" here leads to more questions than I care to attempt to type. I think I will settle for justifying my impulse by answering the question..."Why is it ok to complain about these things but not the others?"
Well....I dont know!
It just seems like most of the stuff I complain about has a way to be fixed. Granted, although my answers are possible they are in most cases implausable. Which is to say it could be done, but no one will do it.
*******************************
Example: I have a disease. There is no cure known to science at this time. Treatments are designed to lessen the pain but nothing can be done to cure it. I am not happy about the situation but its not something I tend to complain about. I lost that Lotto.
HOWEVER!! I can complain about losses of paperwork and changes in government policies that mean that I can not even recieve the treatments listed above. I CAN complain that because I dont fall into what is an outdated definition of a "minority", I can not get the same help that someone able to get pregnant can get.
*******************************
I know these words sound bitter, and I want to make myself clear that I am in no way mad at those who are able to get help in their lives. I am not mad at those who need to and do use the system, I am mad at the system that wont allow for a truly raceless, genderless standard.
Fixable? YES! National health care may very well be coming, and in that we may see our young lawmakers of all races and religions put away their grandfathers hates and fears long enough to see that our world HAS changed and our laws and government need to reflect those changes.
Plausable? NO Not as long as you need to wear a $400.00 suit to be accepted as a lawmaker in this country. As long as the first step to solving a problem is emulating the people who created the problem we can go no where.
I think these small differences in perspective are the only things I have to allow myself permission to bitch about the world.
If you think about it I am sure you can see why.
I need to get something together for dinner. I will be back later.
Begin at the Beginning
Well, here it is. I am joining with the masses in some effort to be heard. Sometimes talking to yourself makes you feel good even if someone watching you do it thinks your crazy.
This is the beginning of what I hope to be a kind of therapy for myself. My friend suggested that I give something like this a try. She says that maybe others might be interested in my opinions but I suspect it may also be away to stop me from talking and bitching all the time.
I complain a lot.
I mean ALOT. At times I think I may cross the line into whining, but I have a habit of always asking "why", and most likely I do not enjoy the answer. Then...............comes the rant.
The news is the worst. Please understand that I am a 33 year old, fairly well educated, white American Male. I am a twice divorced father of two, who according to popular media would be defined as a dead-beat dad. I am a veteran of the US Army. I have illnesses that don't allow me the freedoms of movement that I used to enjoy, and therefore my employment capabilities are limited.
Regardless of what my ancestors may or may have not done to anyone else's Ancestors, America is currently well aimed against my kind of person. ( I only say it in this way because I know someone, somewhere will be happy to recount how bad others have had it in the past) To those who would tell me about the past, well I agree completely. People in the past have suffered greatly for little or no reason. That however does not make me feel better about how I feel about my life....Our lives... NOW.
Well back to what I was talking about................... The news is the worst. I try not to watch. I alternate between yelling at the screen and laughing at what our news agencies think is important news.
....................And then I ask why.....................
Late night and standup comics made fun of, and criticized the news agencies ( CNN, FOX NEWS) for showing Jackson trial updates instead of Iraqi news updates. I did too, but the question why is simple to answer. We're stupid. Let me repeat. We're stupid. Enough of our homebound TV watching Americans were more than happy to turn away from Springer long enough to see a story about pedophilia. I know we as a people wont change, but I can still be frustrated about it.
Not only do we I general 'like" bad news, but we like a particular kind of bad news. Soldiers who die because they are ordered too is not juicy enough. We apparently need some good old fashioned child rape as well.
Think about that. Ill be back later
This is the beginning of what I hope to be a kind of therapy for myself. My friend suggested that I give something like this a try. She says that maybe others might be interested in my opinions but I suspect it may also be away to stop me from talking and bitching all the time.
I complain a lot.
I mean ALOT. At times I think I may cross the line into whining, but I have a habit of always asking "why", and most likely I do not enjoy the answer. Then...............comes the rant.
The news is the worst. Please understand that I am a 33 year old, fairly well educated, white American Male. I am a twice divorced father of two, who according to popular media would be defined as a dead-beat dad. I am a veteran of the US Army. I have illnesses that don't allow me the freedoms of movement that I used to enjoy, and therefore my employment capabilities are limited.
Regardless of what my ancestors may or may have not done to anyone else's Ancestors, America is currently well aimed against my kind of person. ( I only say it in this way because I know someone, somewhere will be happy to recount how bad others have had it in the past) To those who would tell me about the past, well I agree completely. People in the past have suffered greatly for little or no reason. That however does not make me feel better about how I feel about my life....Our lives... NOW.
Well back to what I was talking about................... The news is the worst. I try not to watch. I alternate between yelling at the screen and laughing at what our news agencies think is important news.
....................And then I ask why.....................
Late night and standup comics made fun of, and criticized the news agencies ( CNN, FOX NEWS) for showing Jackson trial updates instead of Iraqi news updates. I did too, but the question why is simple to answer. We're stupid. Let me repeat. We're stupid. Enough of our homebound TV watching Americans were more than happy to turn away from Springer long enough to see a story about pedophilia. I know we as a people wont change, but I can still be frustrated about it.
Not only do we I general 'like" bad news, but we like a particular kind of bad news. Soldiers who die because they are ordered too is not juicy enough. We apparently need some good old fashioned child rape as well.
Think about that. Ill be back later
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